Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The life list

Today I had the pleasure of crossing an item off the list of things to do in my life. This item was not especially hard to accomplish, but nonetheless satisfying to achieve. Accomplishment only required a forty mile drive and and three dollars (two for a PBR and one for a tip). Drinking one PBR was not my goal, the location was. And that location was the Moonshine Gulch Saloon in Rochford, SD. The Moonshine Gulch is one of those rare places that is more a holdover from gold rush days than it is a member of the 21st century. It's really a miracle that the place is still in business given that the population of Rochford is about 20, with a peak population of one thousand in the early 1880s. The atmosphere and uniqueness of the Saloon didn't fail to deliver. I was the one and only customer, joined by the barmaid who had owned the place for 30 years, and her dog. The pictures tell the rest of the story (a couple here and a couple on flickr: check out he sweet collection of hats and decaying business cards plastered all over the ceiling).

Monday, December 10, 2007

Dodgeball update

Since I claimed in a past post that I would reclaim dodgeball glory I thought that an update was in order. My initial claim was to re-capture glory in the game immediately following my post. Well, that didn't happen. I was a bit off the mark and captured mediocrity instead. Try as I might I still couldn't catch that damn ball - for what it's worth neither could the rest of my team. We noticed that fat people could catch the ball a lot better than we could. To lift our spirits we agreed that as a team of slim people we simply didn't have the midriff cushion to absorb the impact of the ball. The ball just kept bouncing off our bodies before we could wrap our arms around it. Dubious theory I know, but at least it made us feel better.

My team won the first game of the season, before I was recruited to play. Since I had joined we were winless. The last night of the season was upon us. Things didn't look good because we only had four players which put us at a sever handicap versus the normal six player teams. Of course we lost the first game of the night even though we recruited a ringer. The second game was just four of us against a team that even had subs for its six starting players. I thought "subs, what the hell, this is f****** dodgeball." Naturally, being the last game of the season, not having won a game for weeks, and being significantly shorthanded...we won. We were catching fools and we really put the onion into our throws. At several points our prospects looked dim, but someone always came up with a crucial play (and yes I reclaimed glory by finishing off the remaining two players on the other team singlehandedly...twice)

The playoffs start this week. The way I figure it we're peaking just when we need to, haha.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

The man isn't keeping me down

For the last month I've been battling the SD Department of Labor to obtain unemployment benefits. I figured that if I'm already swallowing most of my pride by living with the parents and volunteering I might as well swallow the rest and get "my money for nothin' and my checks for free." The D of L didn't think it was so cool that I was volunteering 40 hours a week while claiming that I was still able to search for and accept work if offered (I have to prove that I have applied for two jobs a week to qualify for benefits). So the D of L determined that I was ineligible for benefits. I appealed the determination. After all, I'm volunteering for one reason, and that is to increase my marketability and qualifications, which should be quite congruent with the goals of the D of L. Amazingly enough, my arguments convinced a judge to rule in my favor over the belly-aching of a peon of the D of L who was present to argue against me. The whole process was a bit weird, culminating with the "hearing" conducted via conference call. So to get to the whole point of this post...SUCK IT SD Department of Labor.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

We're so cool

If hacking up flem is cool, then you can consider me and the rest of the fam Miles Davis. The Oh*** crew has come down with some sort of head/chest plague. Personally I think someone put a curse upon our heads Old Testament style. I've never seen my dad so sick. He laid around the house for several days making weird breathing-esque noises. I'm lobbying for burning the couch and the TV remotes to cleanse the house. I immediately started taking a whole regiment of vitamins, Zicam, and fruit juices. I seemed to ward off the worst of the symptoms but nonetheless succumbed to the flem. To bolster my "curse upon our heads" theory, my mom found out that she is allergic to everything from wheat to milk. And the consequence of eating these food is - you guessed it - flem. So, if anyone wants to make some quick money, buy all Kleenex stock you can afford.* On the upside though, my voice periodically falls an octave lower and obtains a gravelly tone that would make Johnny Cash jealous.

* Following the financial advice of the author should be done at your own considerable risk, considering his complete lack of knowledge of all things financial.