Reality in the Rear View Mirror

Job Number 3

2009-02-20T13:37:00.000-08:00

My days of stressing out due to lack of work have abated for the time being. Since returning from a short trip to ID, I will have worked 10 out of 11 days. This turn in fortunes is due to Job Number 3: Coffee/sandwich shop dude (is the term barista exclusive to female coffee technicians?) Though this job is a temporary gig for the duration of a week, I feel like I have a corner on the town of G's addictive drink market. Days at the coffee shop, nights at the bar. As one astute patron asked, "Do you work everywhere in G, or just everywhere that I go?" Since the coffee shop also peddles sandwhiches I feel that I have had a glimpse into the food service industry. I have never worked in the food service industry so this short foray has proven interesting and enlightening. As with most things it has its ups and downs.

Ups:
1. A free meal or two
2. A free drink or two
3. Meeting lots of locals
4. Understanding more clearly the vast logistical system set up to support the food service industry.
5. Stainless steel counters, appliances, etc... that just demand being clean.

Downs:
1. Washing your hands constantly - I believe heartily in washing your hands a lot anyway, but the your skin can only take so much
2. Wearing latex exam gloves in addition to washing hands - as one guy said as I asked him if he was ready for his check "You bet I am, any time a guy wearing latex gloves approaches me I'm outta here."
3. Burning people's food.

Goodbye #6

2009-02-16T09:01:00.000-08:00

The most famous resident of the Mammoth Hot Springs/Gardiner area has met an unfitting end - and the entire town is talking about it. This resident was of the four legged variety. He was known the world over as "Number Six" because of the numeral on his orange ear tag. Number Six was not just any elk. He was one of the biggest, most impressive, and most aggressive elk around. Every fall he would saunter into the town of Mammoth to gather a large harem of female elk with the intent of passing on his stellar genes to another generation of Yellowstone elk. And he did a good job of it to put it mildly. He also tolerated little from the throngs of tourists who leave thirty or forty points of their IQ's at home. Number Six was responsible for chasing people, hitting people, and most of all goring cars. He alone has been responsible for thousands of dollars of damage to both moving and stationary vehicles. I witnessed him take out the back window of a law enforcement Tahoe last fall. His reputation was well known, and he had a following of photographers that came to watch him compete with other bulls in the Mammoth area each fall. His death has thus created quite a stir. Number Six met his death in Gardiner, just outside the park. Apparently he was crossing a fence and got a foot snagged. He then fell on to his back, with his massive antlers trapped between two boulders. He slowly suffocated on his back. Not the way I hoped he would go out. The Gardiner weekly paper said it best. "He was loved, He was feared, but most of all he was a legend in his own time, A King of Ungulates."

Workin' in a Coal Mine

2009-01-28T08:59:00.000-08:00

I've managed to find myself some gainful employment here in the bustling metropolis of 800 people that I'm calling home now. Please realize though, that I use the term "gainful" loosely. In fact I'm not using it in the sense of actual monetary gain, rather in the sense of less monetary loss versus not having a job, or two, or three. My current work situation could be seen as gainful though in the sense of entertainment and occupying time that would otherwise be spent worrying and twiddling my thumbs. The lucky establishments that I am gracing with my presence this winter include the glamorous K-Bar, the edifying Gardiner K-12 school, and the throwback Pine Creek School (three classrooms for K-8). Yes that is right, I'm a bar tender/pizza cook/substitute teacher. I have to say that it was somewhat inevitable that I would be a substitute teacher at some point in my life, and I've always been curious what it would be like to be a bar tender (the pizza making goes along with the bar tending duties). So the way I am looking at it is that this winter is a great opportunity to satisfy some curiosities before hopefully implementing my plan of permanent gainful employment by next fall.

The substituting is far less painful than I thought it would be - at least thus far. And the bar tending, well it can't really be explained fully unless you have actually been to the K-Bar. It would qualify as a full blown dive bar except that it also serves really good pizza. The place is a Southwestern Montana landmark. Personally I have been going there with the fam for over 20 years. It has a run-down, rural charm to it (i.e. there used to be bullet holes in the door). For better or worse a new owner is buying it and the K-Bar will cease to exist as I know it. It will become much nice, less dingy, and more touristy. In other words it will probably loose its well worn charm. I'm just thankful that I am able to experience it in all its glamor before the metamorphosis.

Distractions

2009-01-10T17:53:00.000-08:00

The holidays are finally over and I have returned to the snowy town on the border of the world's first national park. The whole affair of the holidays was a bit non-traditional this year. Everyone in my entire immediate family, and some of the extended family, except me came down with a nasty stomach flu. There was couch laying, day-sleeping, and bucket-carrying galore and the homestead. Thus a few of the normal Christmas traditions fell by the wayside. No matter, I had a nice time anyway being with family - which was the point of going home in the first place (though I did receive a sweet new 4 piece fly rod from Santa). I escaped the sick house unscathed and made a beeline for Idaho with my brother since he had already recovered from the plague. I celebrated New Year's in style in Idaho and enjoyed snowy outdoor activities with friends there.

Now back at my home in MT the job search is starting again. Substitute teaching and bar tending/pizza making seem to be on the horizon. The whole job search accompanied by daily news reports on NPR describing how crappy the economy is make for a bit of stress now and then. But last night I partook in some movie viewing that did what movies are supposed to do - distract you from real life with a good story and leave you entertained. If you need a little distraction and lot of entertainment I suggest you go rent yourself a copy of Big Trouble in Little China starring Kurt Russell. The film came out in 1986 so it now has a whole level of entertainment that I'm sure it didn't have to begin with. Whatever it is, the movie is great - go watch it now.

Easy come easy go

2008-12-17T19:35:00.000-08:00

As quick as my Internet came, it went. I awoke yesterday to a burning desire to do some web surfing and kill a couple hours (killing time has become rather hard and stressful now that I have been at it a few days). Alas, my internet connection was down for the count. To make matters worse, I actually had some important things to accomplish via the Internet that I could no longer get done. The situation was very annoying to say the least. I had almost slipped fully back into the 21st century but was then stymied by a finicky connection. Fortunately, the connection is back up and walking. I say "walking" because in no way, shape, or form is this a fast Internet connection. I'm talking marginally faster than 1997 dial up. I click and wait, click and wait, etc... But when you have nothing but time on your hands, waiting isn't all that bad. I have put some of my time to more useful pursuits though, like watching movies, reading, hiking, buying Christmas presents, feeding the resident horses, keeping the wood stove burning hot, and learning more on the guitar. Much more of this though and I'm going to have to start busting out some video games.

Convenience!

2008-12-15T09:45:00.000-08:00

Hear Ye! Hear Ye! For the first time in seven months, I am sitting in the comfort of my own home browsing the Internet and writing a blog. Yes it is true, for the last seven months, the various structures that I have called home have all been devoid of an Internet connection. During those seven months I was required to use the computers at work after hours (Yuck), or pay an arm and a leg for a wireless connection outside the park (Yuck). I have recently moved just outside North Entrance of the park to a real house with a real Internet connection! And I actually signed a 12 month lease, Gasp! I have rediscovered the joy of browsing the Internet and wasting time. Of course I have a to-do list, but since I have to wait until the end of the week to receive news about some job applications I should have plenty of time to check my email every five minutes, look at YouTube, read news, and generally plug back in. And the timing is great. The temperature hasn't risen above 0 degrees Fahrenheit in the last two days so a little quality couch time can be justified.

Happenings

2008-12-08T11:15:00.000-08:00

The start of the holidays have been going splendidly so far though I have a bit of a hitch in my get up. Thanksgiving went great. The turkey was an adventure in taste due to the use of a delicious array of fresh spices conveniently sold together in a bag labeled "The Herbed Bird." Of course the eating included much merry making - courtesy of my apprenticeship to an accomplished Bloody Mary mixer. In fact there was too much merry making for my old body to stand. On the day after Thanksgiving - or Five O'clock Somewhere Day as we called it - some spontaneous dancing went down. I attempted to execute an airborne dance move and lightly come to rest on my left foot. Instead, I came to land heavily on a left foot positioned awkwardly inward. The resulting movement was an uncontrolled crumple to the floor. Fast forward ten days... the crutches are gone, the limp remains, and my left foot is back to its normal size but roughly the color of an eggplant. I've thus made great use of the couch and foot stool. Fortunately my travel plans included an extended stay in ID, so I haven't been forced to accomplish big things with a lame foot. On the up side, it's really easy to get people to stop on the crosswalks and let me gimp across.

Let Winter Descend

2008-11-06T11:43:00.000-08:00

The first Sunday in November came and went, a notable day here in YNP. The fishing season ends on the first Sunday in November. I managed to get out on my favorite river, but the fish just stared at my fly without actually taking it. Of course now the rivers look better than ever and about all I can think about is fishing. Then came election night. Going to bed happy and waking up with a sense of satisfaction with this country's politics was so novel that it got my mind off of fishing. I missed the election of '96 by a few months, so my first Presidential election was that of '00 and we all know how that monkey show ended up. Up until Tuesday night, very few people that I have voted for were ever elected. Well, I'm glad to say that has changed and if feels rad.

In the longer run, now that fishing season has ended, I welcome the snow back and hope it starts piling up. I retrieved my winter gear from SD last week so I am ready to start sliding on the white stuff. With the white stuff enters one of my favorite two month stretches of the year...it's eating season. It started with Halloween candy courtesy of my sweet ninja costume and will only build from there through the fourth installment of the O brother's Thanksgiving celebrations and on to Christmas. I'm trying to start slow and build up so I can peak on Thanksgiving and Christmas eve.

Kids

2008-10-21T12:32:00.000-07:00

I officially lead/taught my first group of kids in the program that I am now an employee of. Basically, the kids come for three or four days and rangers take them around the park and teach them stuff...i.e. "Yellowstone is super cool because of (insert unique aspect of Yellowstone's ecosystem) so you should work to protect it and other places like it. I was skeptical at first that the kids would assimilate this attitude, but I've been very surprised at how large an impact both the program and Yellowstone have on them. Usually, the most wild/misbehaved kid ends up loving the park. Last week, one of them declared that he would rather be in Yellowstone than at home playing video games! Chalk one up for the home team. The kids aren't the only ones having fun. I've come to realize that I am having a really good time with the kids. Some of the reasons...

1. Kids always want to give hugs.
2. You never know what they are going to say or do.
3. The younger kids are really eager to participate - none of that "I'm too cool for school" b.s.
4. I get to wear my ranger hat.
5. Two nights a week I get to stay in the Lamar Valley. The Lamar Valley has been the wallpaper on my computer for 4 years because there's nothing else I'd rather put there.
6. The kids have to cook for the rangers (fortunately I like hot dogs and nachos).
7. Kids laugh at all my stupid jokes.

The respite of autumn

2008-10-09T11:39:00.000-07:00

The summer craziness has finally left the park. I can now breathe a little easier and find time to actually blog once in awhile.

I am no longer working in the visitor center. I am staying in the park until Thanksgiving as an emergency hire in the education program. I will be leading 4th through 8th graders through the park on hikes and doing activities. It should be a fun job. Plus I will work 4 ten hour days, thus giving me some extra time. I've put some pictures up on flickr which will highlight the summer better than me rambling on about it. Overall it was a great summer. I stayed busy with work and trying to be outside as often as possible to enjoy the park. But the change in seasons is a welcome one.

Big List

2008-06-12T14:13:00.000-07:00

I've finally found a little time to do a little blog posting. Instead of my usual claim of being busy when I'm really not, I actually have been busy the last three weeks. I'm getting settled into Yellowstone and the job. I've designed three programs, and have one left to design. I giving talks on bears, and bison, and leading walks on the geology of Mammoth Hot Springs and the history of Ft. Yellowstone. I'm really looking forward to the Ft. Yellowstone walk because, of course, it's history focused. Living in Yellowstone has been exciting. Even in Mammoth you never know what wildlife is going to show up. I've had herds of buffalo and elk within arms reach of an open window, a black bear hunting newborn elk in the neighborhood, and uinta ground squirrels in the yard. I've also watched from my living room window on three separate occasions, herds of buffalo crossing a road bridge to avoid having to walk down in a canyon and ford a river then climb back up the other side of the canyon. The rivers are really high and muddy so I haven't done much fishing yet. In fact, the snow melt in the high country has hardly begun. It has snowed off and on for the last few weeks throughout the park.

I've put up some Chile pics on flickr, but my internet connection isn't cooperating at the moment so some are missing and a few seem to have reverted to their original sideways orientation. Hope you enjoy the ones I did post.

Home again, home again

2008-05-18T07:04:00.000-07:00

The siblings and I made it safely back to the states on Friday night. Since then, I've been packing, satisfying a month long craving for peanut butter, French toast, and ketchup, and battling an annoying head cold that caught up with me. Today I drive to Yellowstone and jump right into work tomorrow. I'll post some pics of the trip when I get settled into the new job.

The Armpit of Chile

2008-05-08T13:41:00.000-07:00

So, if you ever decide that a slow paced wander up the coast of Chile toward Valapraiso sounds like a good idea don´t start your voyage in Cartegena. The guide book claimed that Cartagena had a special ¨soul.¨ I think they meant ¨sole¨as in the sole of my shoe afer I just took a run through a dog park. Seriously, don´t go to Cartagena.* Why you ask?
1. The town hobby seems to be rubbernecking at tourists, especially blonde and red haired ones.
2. The restuarant promoters are far more persistent even though their establishments are more shabby.
3. The town is small, but packed with taxis constantly honking at you in hopes you want to go somewhere.
4. The populace seems unable to understand simple directions, such as ¨dos noches.¨
5. The whole town has a feel like and X-files episode where the outward look is a facade to cover up some devlish cult that will eventually entrap you in order to use your body to incubate their alien overlord.

I could go on, but I won´t. The one day we spent near Cartagena was a few miles north in Isla Negra at the home of Pablo Neruda. This town had a great vibe. Our arrival today at Vina Del Mar has been a relief, even the weather is better. Our taxi cab driver gave us a discount and the hotel guy spoke slow enough so we could understand what he was saying for a change.**

*Cartagena is in no way representative of the rest of Chile. In fact it seems to be the exception to the rule that the Chilean people are welcoming, friendly, and the country is a pleasure to travel in.
** He informed us that people named ¨Mateo,¨in Chile, the Spanish version of Matt which I quite like, are nerds and when asked to go out and party say that they have too study.

A bit more relaxation

2008-05-01T12:58:00.000-07:00

So the volcano climb went well, especially since our guide Klaus the German was quite a character. I think the ride up to the volcano in his white van was more dangerous than anything on the volcano. There was no liquid magma, just a lot of noxious smoke. We also did some good old fashioned relaxing in Pucon, where the volcano was. Fortunately it is offseason here, so happy hour at some places runs from 7:00-1:00am. The best deal going is the 2 for 1 ¨schop grande¨or big draught beer. Plus I enjoyed some of my first pisco, which is an alcohol made from grapes that tastes somewhat less sweet than rum, but without the bite of whiskey. The drink of choice is the pisco sour, but with its high price, the piscola (not pronounced piss cola, but with a long ï¨I found out) is a better option. Yesterday, B and I headed north for the next leg of our journey. We spent 9 hours in a bus, and were eventually just let out on the side of the interstate at our scheduled stop. Apparently it was not a scheduled stop at an actual bus station. We eventually found our way to the bus station and caught another bus to the coast. This bus was packed, and I had to stand for part of the trip. Fortunately there were TVs that played Ël Mariachi¨and some kickin´Buce Springsteen live performances. He really hit his stride with ¨Born in the USA.¨ We arrived in Pitchelemu at 10:45 and found a place to stay. We are right near the beach, which is great. We surfed for 2 hours today. I should say that I tried to surf. I did get up on the board once or twice, but as B put it ït´s all survival surfing for us.¨ Most of the time I spent trying to avoid getting thrashed by waves. It was fun, though because it is so novel. Plus we plan on drinking 40´s on the beach this evening, and the thrashing from surfing will make the beer taste better. And more relaxing is on the way in the upcoming week. I´ve been extremely happy with the first month of my 29th year on this planet spent traveling, but I´m feeling my age a bit. I think I´ll be able to predict the weather with my right knee when I get back. Sweet.

I can´t resist

2008-04-27T09:37:00.000-07:00

I just can´t resist, it is chilly in Chile. At least down south. The bro and I are in a town called Pucon. It´s kind of the epicenter for outdoor pursuits. Almost every business in town is a combination Internet cafe and guide service. Most of the guided trips are for fishing, climbing, rafting, hot springs, biking, caving, and my personal favorite the ¨hidrospeed.¨ The hidrospeed is described as a ¨water sleigh¨that you ride down churning rivers. Basically it is a foam board of sorts three or four feet long and a couple wide that you lay on with your upper body. Your lower body hangs off the back and you wear fins. You then ride this thing down rapids. We are actively looking into going on this guided trip if for no other reason that it sounds so random and I want to say that I´ve been on a ¨water sleigh.¨ We are also planning on ascending to the top of the local volcano Villarico with Klaus the German. We´ve heard that there may be liquid hot magma at the top. Fishing may also be on the docket.

The first 10 days here have been good. The main event was our 8 day trek in Torres del Paine national park. We attempted to do a trail called the ¨Circuit.¨ The trail was officially closed, but that doesn´t really mean much around here. We got three days into it but were then unable to make it over the pass to the other part of the trail. The snow was waist deep, it was raining, and our progress was so slow that we had to turn back. Fortunately we found a shack at one of the closed campground with a fireplace in it made out of an old 55 gallon drum. We managed to put the chimney back together and light a fire so that we could dry out in relative comfort rather than be in the tent. We then headed the 2 days back toward the trailhead and did a great day hike on day 7 to the Towers, or Torres. There was apparently a flash flood in the lower part of the park while we were attempting to cross the pass. So, we had to cross lots of engorged streams that had washed out their small foot bridges. We made if over these with little problem outside of wet boots. Overall we accomlished our goal of getting out for a good backpacking trip and having a true Patagonian experience (meaning intense weather of all sorts...lots of rain, snow, sleet, really strong winds, and a little sun)

The old and the new

2008-04-13T14:04:00.000-07:00

As I type, it is the calm before the storm. I'm enjoying some CO sunshine on the back porch of my and and uncle's house in D-town. The birds are chirping and the trees are budding. I'm packed and ready to head to Chile. I've made my list and checked it more than twice. If I've forgotten anything it must be an insubstantial item like toothpaste. Tomorrow the storm starts. I fly out at 3ish to Atlanta from whence I depart overnight to Santiago. From there the trip continues south for several more hours on a plane and finally a bus to end the trip approximately 28 hours after I left. That thought is a little overwhelming.

A couple good distractions have kept my mind from the upcoming marathon of travel. One is new and one is old.

The New: The Raconteurs just released a new album called Consolers of the Lonely. Jack White continues to be his versatile, eclectic musical self and the album has some good new songs. There are a few grating moments that I think will grow in appeal over time as good music often does. The i-pod is getting rested up for a marathon as well.

The Old: Star Wars Episodes V and VI were on the TV last night. It has been some time since I've had the pleasure of sitting down and watching them. Once again they proved to weather the test of time and leave me appreciating their greatness. Han Solo is still a badass, Luke still manages to make you like him despite is wining, Lando is still the smoothest operator around, Chewie still makes a great sidekick, and Leia's hair still rocks. Quality story and believable acting...what a novel combination.

Off I go to a land far, far away...

Egad

2008-04-07T15:21:00.000-07:00

I've finally managed to muster the gumption to make a blog post and upload some pics to flickr. Finally. I'm crediting the emergence of spring's rejuvenating warmth and cheer as the goad that has awoke me from blogging hibernation. The last few weeks have been full.

I finished my volunteer time at Mt. Rushmore to great thanks and appreciative murmurs from supervisors and colleagues. I believe that the decision to volunteer has paid off and will continue to do so. The big wigs at Mt. R. were very supportive of my efforts and pledged to help throw their weight behind my attempts to break into permanent status. I even received a medal of sorts from the biggest of the big wigs.

Despite the accolades from the many bosses I had at Mt. R., the best confirmation of the benefits of volunteering I had came in the form of a job offer from none other than Yellowstone National Park. The position is seasonal still, but it is based in Mammoth Hot Springs at the northern entrance to the park. The combination of Yellowstone and Mammoth is basically my career version of a wet dream so I'm quite happy to be making it a reality. It could only be one-upped by a permanent job there. I'll be leading guided hikes, giving talks, and working at the visitor center. I have a growing list in my head of all the hikes I want to do and hatches that I want to fish. And there's a certain place called the K-Bar that has a pool table that is calling my name.

I'm in Denver as I write this post, holding the fort down at an aunt and uncle's house while they travel abroad. Their house is a convenient embarking point for several upcoming journeys. Tomorrow I am heading to Moab, Utah for some sun and biking. Upon my return to Denver I am preparing for my departure to Chile on the 14. I also just returned from a visit to cousins M and G in Seattle. G and I made a backcountry ski trip into the Cascades. The trip featured great scenery, great snow and weather conditions, a long trudge into camp pulling a sled, and gourmet eating backcountry style made possible by the sled. I was also given a fantastic tour of Seattle that included gourmet cupcakes, the San Juan islands, sushi, the Pike Place Market, Ballard, and of course some good coffee. As Another Kind of Nerd put it "Washington's cool."

I'll now return to planning and looking forward to Chile.

Flying time

2008-03-03T12:53:00.000-08:00

Time has really been flying around here lately. All of a sudden it's March and I only have one month of work and permanent SD residence left. How did that happen? I've spent a lot of energy trying to think of ways to occupy my time until the festivities and adventures of spring travel and summer (paid) work come along. Well, apparently thinking of things to do has taken up a fair bit of my "doing" time. But, in between the creation of to do lists, pro and con lists, and flow charts I have managed to do a few fun things. I've found two, count 'em two, sushi places in RC that have surprisingly good sushi given the proximity of an ocean. I became a beer-pong champion and subsequently convinced myself that I not only could, but should sing The Righteous Brother's "Unchained Melody" for karaoke. I've become a member of Netflix and watched a lot of DVDs on my computer. Who knows, I might even get rid of my VCR and buy a DVD player. I've applied for shit tons of seasonal jobs and received some attractive offers. The Chile trip prohibits me from taking most of them, but Yellowstone and the Tower are still on the list of possibilities. I've assisted in brewing a batch of "Belgian Tripel" - review to come in three more weeks of fermentation.

From here on out to the end of March there promises to be more planning as I'm squeezing in a backcountry snowboard trip for the first week of April and then Chile will be looming. At least travel planning is fun.

The groundhog is full of crap

2008-02-11T14:05:00.000-08:00

The sources I saw all agreed that Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow so we are in for six more weeks of winter. I'm all for more winter, even in this drought of snowboarding I'm enduring. But I have reason to think that Phil might be wrong this year. Some of you have had the pleasure of observing my yearly spring ritual of getting my short "schoolboy" haircut which makes me look about five years younger than I already do. Inevitably, my right hand then gets a workout extracting my ID from my wallet over the next month or two as my hair grows out. Well this year my schoolboy haircut came February 5, markedly earlier than normal. I didn't intend to get it cut this short this early, it just kind of happened. My ever imaginative hair cut person suggested a shorter cut, and it seemed like a good idea to me at the time. This can only mean one thing - spring in on the way. But I sit with a near blizzard raging outside and me feeling like I should be prancing around like some pretty boy in an American Eagle add. Yikes, not a good combination. Perhaps I subconsciously jumped the gun with the haircut in anticipation of the Chile trip and plans-in-the-making for a spring back country snowboard trip in the Sierras or Cascades.

Going's on

2008-02-05T13:06:00.000-08:00

My blogging effort has been sorely lacking of late. I attribute it to a lack of inspiration. It's been cold, gray, icy, and dark lately - this combination usually means great snow and good turns but the clouds have thus far refused to give up their fluffy gift. So, to occupy my time I've turned to rodeo. That's right, rodeo. The cold north winds ushered in the annual Black Hills Stock Show and Rodeo with herds of cattle, flocks of sheep, and many a cowboy-hat-sportin,' tight-jean-wearin' resident of nearby states. Before the week of the stock show concluded I attended no less than three rodeos. One was the "ranch rodeo" in which anyone is welcome to compete provided they form a team of four and pay the entry fee. The events simulate modern ranch work such as a relay race to unload a horse trailer, race the horses around a circuit, load them back up and jump back in the truck. The novelty factor ranked high. I received free tickets to the second rodeo and paid for the third. These two were traditional rodeos with all the normal events and, of course, a wise cracking rodeo clown. The rodeo really is entertaining to watch and appreciate all the skill that goes into the events. On the flip side, the average fan at the rodeo could be a poster child for the Bush-backing demographic who only see what they want to see and refuse to accept any criticism of that view. Maybe it's the tight pants - though I have to admit there certainly are some good looking cowgirls out there making a strong case for Wranglers.

Now that the rodeo has left, though, I'm back to planning for the future and happy to have finally booked a ticket to Chile. April 14 - May 15, it'll be a good month.

TV

2008-01-22T15:11:00.000-08:00

Over the last few months I've attempted to drastically reduce the amount of time I watch TV. This hasn't been hard since I had no TV at all at the Tower. I still permit myself to watch the occasional British comedy on PBS or a Premier League game now and then. The crappy quality of most TV seems to be the driving force behind my lack of desire to try and commit to watching the few good shows that are out there. A notable exception of late, as per the high quality recommendation of Another Kind of Nerd, is HBO's "Deadwood." With a free two week trial of Netflix, the first season arrived promptly in the mailbox. Coincidently, I had the recent pleasure of spending a day on the slopes and a night in lovely Deadwood. I'm happy to report that Deadwood still harbors some really interesting characters and places. The atmosphere of those places has certainly changed over the last century and a third but some traditions just can't die. So to commune with the ghosts of Wild Bill, Calamity Jane, etc... a little nip of whiskey had to be enjoyed. Also, to keep with the traditions, the Saloon #10 still sports a dirty floor - saw dust. I've got to admit I like the sawdust. It facilitates some sweeeeet footwork on the dance floor.

In the category of "odd and unexpected" news, my mom has set up a blog. So for an occasional dose of good old fashioned fun and games check out Sunshine Blue Sky. Welcome aboard, Mom. Good to have you.

Obligations

2008-01-14T13:06:00.000-08:00

As most of you have likely gathered, not a lot of note goes on in SD. Of course I still love the state, just not necessarily the prospect of long-term residence. When something of notable does happen in SD, as a loyal resident I am obligated to support it and talk with pride about it to anyone who will listen (I think this obligation is actually written into the state Constitution right after the article prohibiting anyone from slandering the Corn Palace). So to fulfill my civic duty I attended a showing of National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets. The South Dakota connection stems from the prominent place Mt. Rushmore holds in the plot line.* Of course for me this was a double wahmmy since I'm working at Mt. R. The movie was no National Treasure 1, which was no Mummy, which was no Indian Jones etc... But at least NT2 featured the beauty of the Black Hills, right? Right. NT 2, while entertaining, requires one to completely turn off any trickle of analysis that may have snuck into the theater lodged in some dark corner of the mind. Where NT 1 seemed remotely plausible, NT 2 goes off the deep end. But I didn't go to the movie to be prompted to think deep thoughts - so it succeeded in that goal. Was I entertained? Yes. Was I impressed? No. Would I recommend it to anyone else? Heck Yes (remember, I'm duty-bound here). Just don't pay full price, save that for Sweeny Todd.

* To head off any more annoying questions at the visitor center
1. There is no lake behind Mt. Rushmore
2. No, you can't climb behind the heads
3. Yes, Nicolas Cage is an ass in real life

The Holidays

2008-01-07T15:52:00.000-08:00

I finally seem to be emerging from the whirlwind of the Holliday season. I remember feeling really busy over the last few weeks, and I guess I was, it's just hard to remember every big meal, family get together, and gift opened. Overall though it was a grand time. Sister S came home a week or so before Christmas and we proceeded for the following three weeks to watch movies, eat, lay around the house, and eat some more, and continue laughing at jokes and memories that you probably had to be there to appreciate. And we both got harmonicas for Christmas so we are planning some kind of harmonica recital for the upcoming year. New Years was cold, S, my buddy Matt, and I camped in the snow, requiring lots of fire, hot liquids, and cheese to stay warm. We survived the cold, but my trusty digital camera froze to death. Fortunately we had a second camera to document the fun. See Flickr for some weird demented facial expressions. Even work was good over the holidays. I got to hike to the top of Mt. Rushmore - the top of Washington to be more specific. I really wanted to stand on the very top of his head and dance a jig, but rules don't allow for someone as low on the totem pole as me to be seen in broad daylight on top of the heads. Flickr also has some images of some Presidential facial expressions, though they may not be demented.

The life list

2007-12-11T15:28:00.000-08:00

Today I had the pleasure of crossing an item off the list of things to do in my life. This item was not especially hard to accomplish, but nonetheless satisfying to achieve. Accomplishment only required a forty mile drive and and three dollars (two for a PBR and one for a tip). Drinking one PBR was not my goal, the location was. And that location was the Moonshine Gulch Saloon in Rochford, SD. The Moonshine Gulch is one of those rare places that is more a holdover from gold rush days than it is a member of the 21st century. It's really a miracle that the place is still in business given that the population of Rochford is about 20, with a peak population of one thousand in the early 1880s. The atmosphere and uniqueness of the Saloon didn't fail to deliver. I was the one and only customer, joined by the barmaid who had owned the place for 30 years, and her dog. The pictures tell the rest of the story (a couple here and a couple on flickr: check out he sweet collection of hats and decaying business cards plastered all over the ceiling).

Dodgeball update

2007-12-10T13:46:00.000-08:00

Since I claimed in a past post that I would reclaim dodgeball glory I thought that an update was in order. My initial claim was to re-capture glory in the game immediately following my post. Well, that didn't happen. I was a bit off the mark and captured mediocrity instead. Try as I might I still couldn't catch that damn ball - for what it's worth neither could the rest of my team. We noticed that fat people could catch the ball a lot better than we could. To lift our spirits we agreed that as a team of slim people we simply didn't have the midriff cushion to absorb the impact of the ball. The ball just kept bouncing off our bodies before we could wrap our arms around it. Dubious theory I know, but at least it made us feel better.

My team won the first game of the season, before I was recruited to play. Since I had joined we were winless. The last night of the season was upon us. Things didn't look good because we only had four players which put us at a sever handicap versus the normal six player teams. Of course we lost the first game of the night even though we recruited a ringer. The second game was just four of us against a team that even had subs for its six starting players. I thought "subs, what the hell, this is f****** dodgeball." Naturally, being the last game of the season, not having won a game for weeks, and being significantly shorthanded...we won. We were catching fools and we really put the onion into our throws. At several points our prospects looked dim, but someone always came up with a crucial play (and yes I reclaimed glory by finishing off the remaining two players on the other team singlehandedly...twice)

The playoffs start this week. The way I figure it we're peaking just when we need to, haha.

The man isn't keeping me down

2007-12-06T16:50:00.000-08:00

For the last month I've been battling the SD Department of Labor to obtain unemployment benefits. I figured that if I'm already swallowing most of my pride by living with the parents and volunteering I might as well swallow the rest and get "my money for nothin' and my checks for free." The D of L didn't think it was so cool that I was volunteering 40 hours a week while claiming that I was still able to search for and accept work if offered (I have to prove that I have applied for two jobs a week to qualify for benefits). So the D of L determined that I was ineligible for benefits. I appealed the determination. After all, I'm volunteering for one reason, and that is to increase my marketability and qualifications, which should be quite congruent with the goals of the D of L. Amazingly enough, my arguments convinced a judge to rule in my favor over the belly-aching of a peon of the D of L who was present to argue against me. The whole process was a bit weird, culminating with the "hearing" conducted via conference call. So to get to the whole point of this post...SUCK IT SD Department of Labor.

We're so cool

2007-12-04T12:39:00.000-08:00

If hacking up flem is cool, then you can consider me and the rest of the fam Miles Davis. The Oh*** crew has come down with some sort of head/chest plague. Personally I think someone put a curse upon our heads Old Testament style. I've never seen my dad so sick. He laid around the house for several days making weird breathing-esque noises. I'm lobbying for burning the couch and the TV remotes to cleanse the house. I immediately started taking a whole regiment of vitamins, Zicam, and fruit juices. I seemed to ward off the worst of the symptoms but nonetheless succumbed to the flem. To bolster my "curse upon our heads" theory, my mom found out that she is allergic to everything from wheat to milk. And the consequence of eating these food is - you guessed it - flem. So, if anyone wants to make some quick money, buy all Kleenex stock you can afford.* On the upside though, my voice periodically falls an octave lower and obtains a gravelly tone that would make Johnny Cash jealous.

* Following the financial advice of the author should be done at your own considerable risk, considering his complete lack of knowledge of all things financial.

Thanksgiving food hangover

2007-11-27T14:42:00.000-08:00

Probably the best holiday has come and gone. But it was a good one.

Continued traditions:
1. A fine three part liquid concoction of the Emerald Isle
2. All the usual good foods

New endeavors:
1. Four sweet potato pies (five pounds of sweet potatoes goes a long way)
2. Making thin bread (see pic)

Things missed:
1. Rekishi Ninja's green bean casserole (I only had it once, two years ago. It was that good)
2. A second orange-haired sibling

"Jump" doesn't start with "D"

2007-11-16T12:59:00.000-08:00

An unexpected invitation arrived in my voicemail last week. A few fire crew buddies had started a dodgeball team in the local city recreational league. They needed an extra player. I was more than happy to oblige. You see, my last two dodgeball memories are dripping with glory. The scene: typical middle school gymnasium: lacquered plywood bleachers folded against the wall, basketball hoops, lots of white tile, eighth grade. It was the last day of school. The gym teacher let us play three team dodgeball. I was still a scrawny four-foot-something nerd. The bigger kids were putting some serious steam on that playground ball. I suddenly found myself holding that red rubber sphere of destiny in my hand with only a few minutes of class left. I had nothing too loose. I sighted across the gym from me a big, fat, jerk of a kid I had never liked throughout childhood (incidentally he just walked into the coffee shop I am at, I haven't seen him since high school). Some inner strength I didn't know I had welled up and I put every muscle in my body into throwing that ball. A red streak sped across the gym, nearly breaking the sound barrier. The missile beaned the jerk square in the face. My gut jumped with equal parts elation and fear. I had just smoked the biggest kid in the class. In a state of near shock at being hit with a ball moving at a speed only he thought he could produce, he asked "Who threw that?" I said, as nonchalantly as I could, "I did." The whole class looked at me with a newfound respect. Now that's the way to finish off eighth grade.

My second brush with dodgeball glory came as a senior in high school. I had to satisfy my PE requirements as a senior because I had been to busy the previous years with studly things like marching band. Again it was three team dodgeball. I was the last one standing on my team. I managed to avoid all the balls thrown at me until, once again, a big burly kid was the only other player left. At least by this time I had grown a couple feet, but I couldn't be described as anything but a beanpole in stature. The big kid ran straight at me and hurled the ball with all his might at very close proximity. Somehow I caught the ball and put him out. He yelled in astonishment and, being a bit more confident, I raised the ball toward the sky and paraded around the gym.

As you can see I must have some innate dodgeball talent. At least that's what I thought before the big game last Tuesday night. I sucked. I was out quicker than I thought possible. My problem? I was trying to jump over balls thrown at me. Now if you remember your "Five D's of dodgeball" from the movie Dodgeball, players should avoid being hit by employing the Five D's. The D's instruct you to dodge, dive, duck, dip, and dodge. Jump is not a part of the Five D's. Hence my poor performance. Next week I reclaim glory.

Battle of the Generations

2007-11-12T14:14:00.000-08:00

Since the holidays are rolling around, conversation among the extended family has inevitably moved toward preparations for various celebrations. My dad and I joined my grandma for dinner on Friday night since my mom was away at a retreat. We talked about the same things we always talk about, and every good Midwestern family should talk about: food, work, and family. Aas it always does this time of year, the conversation turned to that traditional Scandinavian delicacy, lutefisk . Christmas Eve, the day we all had to prepare ourselves to reckon with the galatinous fishy blob, was only a month and a half away. We all knew that lutefisk is cod, or at least it used to be cod. My grandmother and I were sure that the cod was preserved with lye and then dried until it was stiff as a board. It would later be reconstituted with water to soften it and remove the lye, thus making it edible, if not tasty. My dad countered that lutefisk was dried and salted to preserve it, then later reconstituted with lye. The dispute was over the use of lye in the preservation/reconstitution process. We agreed to disagree (as a side note not particularly relevant to the debate, my dad insisted that dried cod, destined to become lutefisk, would be propped up on the sides of small country stores for dogs to pee on. I don't know what to attribute the recurrence of this claim to). As usual, my research confirmed that my dad was right. The lye is used to reconstitute the dried cod and remove the salt, making it edible and somewhat "fresh" looking. There is a whole separate debate on the repulsiveness vs. tastiness of lutefisk, but that will have to wait for another post. One can only handle so much fun in one day.

A lutefisk drying rack.

I bit the bullett

2007-11-10T13:47:00.000-08:00

It's official, I'm going to be a bona fide volunteer at Mt. Rushmore. The responsibility of building experience in the NPS sent the life of a ski bum running away with its tail between its legs. In the end, I simply couldn't justify giving up the opportunity to get more experience in the hopes that I will be able to determine my future with the NPS that much sooner. Not that I wasn't sad to see the defeated option retreating, quite the opposite. I will miss that lifestyle for sure and I hope it will be back sometime in the future. Overall, it feels great to have the weight of decision making off of my shoulders, but I'm sure the weight will be replaced by some gloomy days as I ponder the life of a 28 year old living at home. I'm confident though that it is temporary and that I can make RC a decent place to spend a winter saving money. So, I know that hundreds of you out there have burning questions about Mt. Rushmore. Whip those questions into shape and ask me in a couple weeks. I know you can't wait. With that, my belly-aching posts are done. Thank goodness for that.

Zero hour

2007-11-09T13:35:00.000-08:00

The culmination of the last five weeks is at hand. I have to make up my mind, no more beating around the bush. The options: 1. Stay in RC, live with my parents, swallow pride, volunteer at Mt. Rushmore, get loads of good NPS experience, become a hermit to save money, learn to play the harmonica. 2. Move back to Bend, earn money, have fun, prepare self to wow NPS hiring officials in the spring.

I've been ruminating on these two options for about three solid weeks. I've made lists, pounded my head against the wall, and played devil's advocate. Both options are about equal with pluses and minuses which is why I can't make up my mind. Neither choice is obviously better than the other one. I have to make up my mind by tomorrow afternoon though, as people in Bend need to know if I'm going to show up. So, if anyone has any magic "Best Decision" potion send it my way because I have a feeling that if I flipped a coin it would land on edge.

At Last

2007-11-08T13:45:00.000-08:00

For anyone who gives two bits, I've put up a Flickr link/picture viewer thing on my blog. Look to the right and down.

I've always wanted to say "two bits." The day is a success.

Old?

2007-11-06T13:30:00.000-08:00

KFR's usual astute observations and comments, this time on the process of aging, got me thinking. The idea that stasis becomes an increasingly attractive state of being as one ages seems particularly accurate as do the comments on the growing importance of close friends. I've tried to avoid stasis in my life so far. But to be honest, the idea is gaining steam with me. The ability to put some roots down somewhere and foster those roots for more than a six month period would be nice. It seems to me that the challenge would be to combine stasis with a healthy dose of willingness to step out of one's comfort zone and embrace a little change. As I've been back in RC for about a month now, I've noticed some people around town from my childhood. Some of these people have not changed in the slightest, except for the normal aging process. They dress the same, act the same, and do the same things. That permanence is really quite scary. I can't imagine that there is much excitement in their life (don't get me wrong though, I thoroughly look forward to the day that I sit in the open garage on a riding lawn mower and shake my fist at the neighbor kids). Perhaps they like it that way, and perhaps that will become more and more attractive as I age. For now though, I wish everyone happy aging with a perfect mix of stasis and change.

Good music goes a long way

2007-10-31T14:24:00.001-07:00

The last few weeks, the responsible Mr. Matthew. D. Ohl** has been waging a full scale war of attrition on the car-bomb-drinking, bluegrass-dancing, backseat-of-the-Cutlass-drunken-sleeping, dead-end-job-working, purple-wig-wearing, every six-month moving person known in various geographic regions as "The Governor," "The Mother," "The Conqueror, and "Ranger Babyface." But the alter-egos of Mr. Responsible are holding their own. Obviously I am having some sort of early-life crisis. As much as I have tried to avoid it, I think that I have finally woken up to the fact that perhaps I should do a bit more planning for some sort of a career. More details on this raging battle will be forthcoming once one side gets an upper hand on the other.

In the meantime, I have found good music a must for maintaining my sanity on a daily basis. My current favorite has been provided via a good old mix tape given to my bro by a co-worker. I figured it is fair game to "borrow" things belonging to family members if they are out of the country for the near future (thanks Bri). On said tape is a song I consider to epitomize a nearly perfect bluegrass song. The artist is Old Crow Medicine Show and the song is Wagon Wheel. The song has great twang, appropriately interesting and folksy lyrics, a danceable beat, and good musicianship. It puts me in a good mood, and like a security blanket reminds me that "everything will be alright." Thanks Old Crow Medicine Show.

Responsibility vs...

Rural fun

2007-10-23T12:59:00.000-07:00

The third weekend of October brings in the opening weekend of pheasant hunting in SD. One of SD's few claims to fame (besides dead white guys on a mountain) is fantastic pheasant hunting. Pheasant hunting is a lot of fun. You can't start hunting until noon, you get to walk a lot, you are actually supposed to be noisy, and pheasants are darn good eatin.' Plus, you get to hang out on a ranch for three days. To make it even better, the owner of the ranch is nicknamed "Tex" for good reason. This is seriously rural, I even slept in the bunkhouse. The hunting wasn't that great this year, but still a lot of fun. One highlight of the weekend is the soup feed put on by the Hamil riding club. The feed takes place in the community center which was made of what looks like a giant stainless steel culvert cut in half lengthwise and placed on the ground. The whole thing is big enough to accommodate a basketball court and kitchen. Everyone from miles around shows up to support the riding club. There were more cowboys and cowgirls than you could shake a stick at. In the central part of the state, where Hamil is located, the family farm/ranch still abounds. The soup feed made this readily apparent. It was a good feeling to see this part of America alive and well. Of course, most of the people there are highly subsidized by the feds, but on the flip side it's easy to see that they still have an uphill battle to scrape together a living off the land. If I had a hat on, I would tip it to them.

My haircutting place has a myspace page

2007-10-19T15:12:00.000-07:00

I got my hair cut today at a place in RC called the Factory. It is a very eclectic hole in the wall place. It's even hard to find. There is very little street front signage compared to the glaring awnings and sandwich boards of the nearby stores. I've been to this place about five times now, it has gotten trendier each time I've been there. Not trendy in the frat boy sense, but trendy in the hip, urban sense. The place even has their own DJ, not to mention its own myspace page. I really like going there, its like an adventure. I never know what it's going to be like. For instance, the last time I went, I had a serious conversation with Dawn, the person who cuts my hair, about getting some red highlights. At least I acted serious. She brought the subject up today, but I convinced her that my money would be better spent getting a new tattoo - an idea she wholeheartedly supported. Plus, my hair looks different each time I leave. It always manages to find its way back to the good old usual way I have it, but for an afternoon I'm a rockstar. Getting a haircut is also relaxing. The chairs go up and down, you get to wear a poncho, and people regularly run with scissors. What's not to like? Now if I could just get my hair to grow faster.

Pro and Cons

2007-10-18T13:52:00.000-07:00

Whenever I find myself at a transition point, usually in the shoulder seasons of spring and fall, I often have a lot of time on my hands and a long mental list of things to accomplish. The problem is that items on my mental list come and go without always being accomplished. Knowing this, the struggle to keep them on the mental list before they escape can produce the illusion that I have much more to do than I really do. Enter the paper list...my new best friend. I'm carrying around my new best friend in my pocket right now. According to Herb (my current list's name) I still have to:
1. Drink the rest of my latte (Herb is a stickler for details)
2. Get an idea of the cost of plane tickets to Chile
3. Run
4. Get the slow leak in my tire fixed

The thing about lists, is that if I write something down a) I don't have to worry about remembering it, and b) I usually accomplish the tasks because I wrote them down, thus making them seem more important.

All of my lists, of which there have been many, are inspired by the be all end all of lists that my sister and I concocted one summer. We were both home for the summer and had many things we wanted to do together that we had talked about doing for several years but had not accomplished. We titled the list "The Summer of George" after a Seinfeld episode in which George was going to do all the things he always wanted to do. The list took form on a giant poster board, keenly decorated by my younger sibling. I think the size really helped drive home the urgency of crossing off its items. Needless to say, we had a great summer thanks to the giant list hung on the wall.

A form of list that I have grown fond of over the years is the pro and con list. I have found it invaluable in making decisions. As an ode to the pro and con list...

Pros of being at home in RC: leftovers, Onyx the dog, Fox the cat, no rent, sweet AV system

Cons of being at home in RC: too much time to reflect on being at home, the subtle hints about good life decisions, Miller Genuine Draft Lite in the fridge

My latte is almost gone. Herbs usefulness is waning...

Like the Plague

2007-10-15T13:13:00.000-07:00

Since my last post I have been extremely busy avoiding the reality of living in my parents' house in good ol' RC SD. I left the Tower for my final time early the morning of Sept. 29 and drove to RC. Upon arrival I went through a typical Ohlen last-second packing frenzy getting ready for an 8 day fly fishing trip to Yellowstone. I then jumped in the car with an uncle and drove to Bozeman to start fishing the Madison the following day. The next eight days were great. They included...
1. Big browns on dries
2. A 30+ fish day
3. Drinking with the patriarchs of the fam
4. Being the baddest-ass fishermen on the river (or the only ones dumb enough to fish for six hours in a snow storm)
5. Wolves running, wolves howling, bears eating, elk bugling
6. My favorite hot springs in the world
7. Eating corn dogs and rootbeer shakes at a genuine drive-in
8. Lots of "Extreme Hunter" two-gun action at the K-Bar in Gardner, MT

After getting back to RC I assisted my brother in preparing for his winter in S. America. By "assisting" I mean laying around watching Lord of the Rings while giving him advice on packing. He and I also managed to get in a good day of climbing and a night on the town. The average bar patron in RC can be found under the Webster's definition for "tool shed" but we had fun whispering about them and generally feeling superior. Then, since I am unemployed, I volunteered to drive him to Denver to fly out. He flew out on Sat. and I hung out with my aunt and uncle for a day then decided to drive to Gunnison, CO, where I am right now, to talk to a man about a job. I'm heading back to SD tomorrow. It will be a long haul, but it wouldn't offseason without at least one ridiculously long drive.

Fortunately, I do not have to return to RC, SD with no prospect of leaving. Before leaving to Denver I was offered a job in Telluride, CO. I am super excited to have that opportunity. I am also eying an NPS job in Gunnison, CO though the chances of that are slim. I feel like I should pursue the NPS job (hence my presence in Gunnison) for career purposes, but deep down I really just want to play in the snow this winter in Telluride.

Coin Purse

2007-09-26T11:39:00.000-07:00

As I stand at the visitor center desk, which includes the cash register for the Devils Tower Natural History Assoc. bookstore, I have had the opportunity to observe thousands of people pay for merchandise. It amazes me the complexity some people put into as simple of a task as paying for a book. First of all, the amount of people who still pay with cash amazes me. To be fair, a high percentage of people who have visited the bookstore lately are old. Old people use cash much more than do younger people, likely due to the relatively recent explosion in the use of credit cards. The old people also amaze me in their use of a device I though surely went out with the passing of the age of 9. This device is the coin purse. I've seen all manner of coin purses (I'm strictly talking about a small container made to hold coins here, mind you). My favorite style is one made of leather in a spiral pattern that collapses down on coins laid flatly in its center. Now, old people have been around for a long time. They've probably learned a thing or two in their day. I think they may be on to something in their use of coin purses. Personally I just keep coins in my pocket for a day and then throw them on my dresser that night before bed. I never put them back in my pocket to use the following day. I've probably lost dollars upon dollars because I lose the coins or put them in a receptacle with the never-accomplished goal of exchanging them at the bank.

Save Me

2007-09-20T19:11:00.000-07:00

My inner parent keeps whispering in my ear, "get a real job this winter." To satisfy the voice, though I am still giving my all to ignore it, I am taking a break from filling out NPS applications for winter positions in the desert Southwest. I'm pulling for Death Valley. I want to establish a trend of working at the parks with the most morbid names.

In a decidedly non-morbid announcement, check out the blog of the coolest, smartest, Jew I know...Smurf This.

2007-09-19T13:14:00.000-07:00

The regularity of my blogging seems to follow a general pattern - When I move somewhere new, I have lots of time on my hands and I blog with some frequency. As my tenure at any given location continues, my time is increasingly occupied by the various things one does as the socially awkward phase of meeting people transitions to that of membership in a community. While this has happened as the summer has progressed, the departure of many of the seasonal employees at the Tower has given me some more free time. The problem is, my internet access is provided by an open wireless connection at a local tourist trap. The catch is that you have to sit outside on picnic tables where the deer and antelope quite literally play. As the equinox approaches I have found myself on various occasions, checking my email in the dark with a hat a gloves on. The cold, darkness, and be-gloved hands have combined to zap what were good intentions to blog. Never fear though, I will be making a move somewhere new in the next couple months, so my blogging frequency should increase. I still have no clear place to go. So I will do what I normally do...get in my truck and drive around the west pretending I have the money to be unemployed until I get something figured out. Yellowstone is on the docket of travel destinations, hopefully for a week, and hopefully with a lot of fishing involved.

As for other travelers, I have to give a shout out to three cool cats who have initiated blogs to document their travels - My bro heading for the southern-most tip of S. America, his intrepid and eloquent girlfriend researching an MA thesis in Guatemala, and my bro's former roommate, mutual friend, and all around good chap learning to speak the local lingo in Taiwan. Oh to be young again.

What's next?

2007-08-31T13:33:00.000-07:00

The recent spate of employee departures from the Tower has signaled the beginning of my usual late summer musings about the upcoming winter. Of course I have lots of schemes but nothing planned concretely. The original plan was to join my brother in some tiny mountain town in Colorado featuring a ski resort and lots of snow. This still may happen, but he has received a job offer not to be turned down in Patagonia, Chile. Those pesky visa requirements stand in the way though, and preclude him and thus me from making any concrete plans in the near future. There is also the opportunity to go back to Bend, OR. I would enjoy that, but I am also lusting after some dry Rocky Mountain snow. And finally, there are of course NPS jobs for the winter season. There is much pondering, fretting, and nail biting to be done in the next few weeks.

On another note, I finally summited the Tower via the Durrance route. Its quite a climb. Considering my infantile crack climbing skills my success was due more to brute force and a lot of heavy breathing than to efficient technique. The reality of the climb struck me most on a move called the "jump traverse." The traverse requires a horizontal move across a gap that descends through three hundred feet of air to the ground. The trick is there are not good foot holds, so one has to rely on rather small hand holds. The move is not that physically hard, but the mental aspect is a whole different matter. Nonetheless, standing on the top of the Tower was satisfying if rather anti-climatic. You see, the summit is about the size of a football field, slightly dome shaped featuring a prairie landscape. If you sit in the middle of the summit, it is impossible to tell that you are in fact on top of a tower. It looks more like you are on the top of a gently sloping hill. Sitting on the very edge, dangling your feet over and gazing down at waving tourists 700 feet below is more exhilarating.

I had the chance to climb the Durrance route a second time as well. But this time I was paid for it. On two successive nights, I observed the Tower get pounded by lightning. The day after the second storm, a local climbing guide reported that a large boulder had been blasted apart and a refrigerator sized rock was in danger of falling. This was quite significant since a boulder has not fallen off of the tower in recorded history. Despite or efforts to coax it off during a "rock falling" party, the boulder remained perched two thirds of the way up the tower. So I was recruited, along with one of the climbing rangers, to climb to the boulder, inspect it and take pictures. My technique proved more efficient this time and we accomplished our goal. Much to our dread though, a large thunderstorm approached rapidly and we made a narrow escape to terra firma under lightning and hard rain.

Hog Wrestlin'

2007-08-04T10:45:00.000-07:00

This weekend marks the annual start of the Crook County Fair in Sundance, WY. As a temporary resident of Crook County I did my civic duty and attended the hog wrestlin' event last night. To get prepped for the fair, I was treated to a favorite local song on the way to the fair. The song is titled "CCCS'er," pronounced Triple C S'er. The acronym means Campbell County Cock Sucker. Campbell County is an adjacent county home to Gillette, Wyoming. Gillette is a modern-day western boom town. The area surrounding Gillette has every energy producing substance you can imagine, from oil, to natural gas, to coal. There is currently a huge natural gas boom. There are not enough people to fill the jobs. Even McDonalds is paying $10/hr. to start. In consequence, Gillette is a the largest town around, and its residents, according to the song "make 50 grand a year, but are 200,000 in debt." They also drive "2006 Tahoes."

With my Crook County pride sufficiently stoked, I attended the annual pig wrestling event. There is a circular area about 30 feet in diameter fenced off with a large bucket in the middle. The whole area is covered with bentonite, which, when wet, makes regular mud seem like concrete. Teams of 4 are set loose chasing a pig around this muddy enclosure. The team has 1 minute to capture the pig and drop it in the bucket. The little kids went first, with little pigs and a little bucket. Then came the men's and women's divisions. Each team was bid on by the crowd, with the winning bidders of the top two teams receiving cash. With the adult divisions, the pigs are about 220 pounds for the men, and 160 for the women. The bucket in the center of the ring becomes a 55 gallon drum. One women's team was "purchased" for $2000, the top men's team going for around $1000. The fastest time was an astounding 13 seconds set by a men's team. Several teams failed to catch the pig at all. The pigs had much better traction in the bentonite, and were lubed up with mud (KY was also rumored to be used). The best part was the squealing the pigs made when they were almost caught. Good old fashioned fun.

The Rumble Begins

2007-07-31T12:53:00.000-07:00

It is still a week before the Sturgis motorcycle rally officially starts, bringing as many as 600,000 leather clad bikers to the Black Hills area. But the early-birds have already arrived. I am sitting outside utilizing the free wireless at a local gift shop and restaurant inundated by bikers and the constant rumble of their Harleys or custom choppers. For better or for worse, the next two weeks will be filled with this deafening roar. The sound is novel for about the first ten minutes, then you realize that every overweight middle aged biker who only rides their bike two weeks out of the year finds endless joy in revving their engine for no good reason. On the upside though, the bikes make so much noise that the interp staff at the Tower doesn't have to give talks because we can't be heard. So we simply walk around and talk to people. The bikers are quite interesting one on one, but when there are so many of them the scene becomes a bit annoying.
The Tower had a visit from another, more impressive, noise creating group last week. The Blue Angels did about ten flyby's of the Tower to take photos. Seeing and hearing these fighter planes fly low with the Tower in the background was awesome. I had a momentary relapse to boyhood and a desire to become a fighter pilot. Instead, I just ran around the yard with my arms outstretched like wings. Just kidding.

Distractions

2007-07-24T11:07:00.000-07:00

Try as I might, it was an impossibility to change my work schedule to accommodate a quick trip to Bozeman for some sought after socialization and celebration with a posse of current and former Oregonians that I have been yearning to see. If anything good came out of my inability to make my schedule work it is the knowledge of how one needs to go about "officially" requesting days of. You see, the federal government must keep record of everything, including leave requests from the grunts in the trenches like me. Some other grunts knew this and asked Uncle Sam for their days off before I did. With that disappointment, and the inherent drama that stems from a bunch of strangers thrown into close proximity for a few months and expected to be fast friends, I needed a break from the tower. Spearfish, SD to the rescue.

I met my mom and sis in Spearfish yesterday. We hiked to a place called Devils Bathtub (I can only go places now that have the name "devil" in them) in Spearfish Canyon. A little creek forms a series of pools at the base of small falls. The pools lend themselves perfectly to relaxing in the water and splashing around. My dad then met us for some fly fishing. I redeemed myself from our last outing - I was skunked. I caught quite a few fish this time, ranging from a whopping four inches to a respectable 13. Not exactly Moby Dick, but at least I smelled like a fish when I was done.

Today finds me back in Spearfish eagerly awaiting a haircut at a place that purportedly breaks out a cold beer for you when you sit down in the big chair. This sounds almost as good as an ice cold PBR in a hot shower.

I also had a weird realization while hanging out with my mom and dad: they are old. It hit me all at once. Last I remember, they were relatively spry. They ran around, seemed limber, jumped over things and generally seemed physically fit. To be fair, my dad is over sixty and my mom is getting close, but all of a sudden they seem more like paper clips - breakable if bent to far- rather than silly putty. Wow, with that great analogy I better be off for my haircut.

A bad combination

2007-07-17T15:06:00.000-07:00

The heat has returned to north-eastern Wyoming. I don't mind heat that much. But I have come down with some sort of stomach bug for the last few days that makes enduring the heat that much more annoying. I'm attributing my stomach problems to a serving of macaroni salad, the thought of which makes me queasy. I thought I had made a recovery yesterday so I went to the lake and spent far too long in the sun for a pigment-challenged person like me. I'm not now devoid of color, but a nice painful shade of red. The lake was fun though, swimming, jumping, and a photo-op with a mermaid Barbi doll. The day was topped off with a viewing of Blazing Saddles, chicken Alfredo, and the return of Old Man Nausea. At least I have a good excuse to nap now.

To make matters worse, some clever fellow employee requested the weekend of July 27-29 off before I did. So as of right now I am high and dry for time off. Shitty.

To conclude on a better note I'm hoping to see Harry Potter tonight.

Six dollars of Satisfaction

2007-07-12T10:00:00.001-07:00

I had a very fruitful visit to the Spearfish, SD Salvation Army a few days ago. I'm not normally one to be susceptible to impulse buys, but the novelty of the items and their cheap price combined to break down my willpower. I've always disliked the idea of wearing a robe because I couldn't get past the feeling that any robe I wore was intrinsically dirty no matter how many times it had been washed. To be clear, I have no problem with other people wearing robes. In fact I have always been rather jealous of those who can pull off a robe. Now that I have bought and worn a robe I am starting to like it (though, like sweatpants and my Uggs, I will never wear it in public). The fork adds a hint of class I think, kind of like a trident but not as cool.

Not pictured: an elementary-school-style Dick Tracy plastic lunch box complete with thermos.

As the Tower Turns

2007-07-11T15:32:00.000-07:00

Well, as you might have assumed from my lack of blog postings (despite my intentions of the opposite) that I have somehow managed to fill what I thought were endless idle hours with activity. This is at least partially true, because my ability to fritter away the days has grown substantially. If I can break out of this pattern I hope to re-engage in the pursuit of some worthy goals. I know what they are, I just have to execute.

The job continues to be enjoyable. I like observing people on vacation, they have some very interesting behavior. I especially enjoy the propensity for people on vacation to wear fishing vests when they are nowhere near the water. Apparently for some people when they are on vacation the contents of their pants pockets multiplies to the extent that they need fifteen or twenty pockets off different shapes and sizes. But who likes a simple khaki vest? That's where the patches come in.

On the plus side though, the groundwork for another winter in the mountains seems to be set - much to the chagrin of my parents given the tone of their recent comments. The process of my brother and I narrowing down our choices of places to live has begun. It's a good problem to have.

Props

2007-06-26T10:56:00.000-07:00

I have to give huge props to all the recent blog posts from the current and former Eugene posse. Good musings and good pics. On the other hand, my blog has seen an inexcusable dearth of attention despite my large amount of free time at the Tower. My ever-fragile Dell computer, which I managed to kill on my road trip, is still under warranty - much to my surprise. I was all revved up to give Dell an ear full in hopes of getting some sort of free repair but it was unnecessary. When I get it back in a week or so I will really have no excuse not to blog.

Work at the Tower has been good. I'm enjoying in a lot. People tend to be friendly and in a good mood while on vacation. I've even gotten a couple questions about NPS management. I spouted out more about NPS history and management to that poor guy than he probably ever wanted to know. The typical question is "where's the bathroom," so I really have to take advantage of those substantive questions. I've also started my program schedule full-swing. I have three programs that I give routinely. One is a guided walk around the tower, another is a short twenty minute talk, and the last is an evening Powerpoint presentation at the amphitheater. All have gone well so far. My favorite is the short talk. In it I have a great story about a guy who parachuted to the top of the Tower and got stranded up there for six days in 1941. One suggestion to get him down was to drop him a bottle of whiskey. If he were to drink it, then the ordeal would be over because "God knows what to do with drunks."

Life in a town with a population of 408 continues to be interesting. I've gotten to know the locals and had a good time fraternizing with them, though I can't go as far as claiming to like Bud Lite and Copenhagen long cut. I gave both the old college try, with predictable results.

Greenery

2007-06-07T19:10:00.000-07:00

It has been very rainy here lately. Uncommonly rainy, at least when compared to the last few drought stricken years. In consequence, the countryside is beautifully green and verdant. The deer are starting to fatten up, lots of birds are singing, and even the skunks look pleasant.

Now that it is June, many important Native American ceremonies take place. They are particularly centered around the solstice. But on the first of June, there was a guy playing a drum and singing in Lakota up on the boulder field below the tower. His was singing in the distance, so it sounded almost as if you were imagining things. The experience of hearing him was really cool. After that, the interp staff had a discussion with some Lakota Sioux elders about the sacredness of Devils Tower, or Bear's Lodge more accurately. This old Indian couple had some of the most profound things to say about respect, peace, and making your way in the world. The tolerance this couple had for other points of view (provided they were respectful) was really inspiring. For most of the day, they simply told stories that served to teach many of the lessons that were imparted to them as youngsters. It was often hard get them to answer questions in a pointed or specific way, but nonetheless I learned a lot and was reminded how far simple respect can go towards solving complex problems.

Week 4

2007-06-04T11:38:00.000-07:00

I'm about to start week four at Devils Tower. My duties have not been fully implemented yet. The first two weeks were training - partially useful, partially mind-numbing. Fortunately in week three I started working at the visitor center and finally getting to wear my uniform. I actually really like wearing the uniform, especially the hat. Unfortunately though, we can't wear our hats indoors. I've found that people will believe almost anything you say if you have a uniform on. Working at the visitor center consists of standing behind a desk and answering questions. Most of the questions are about how to get somewhere or where the bathrooms are. But thankfully there are some people who ask substantive questions that actually take some explanation. I've found my week point to be birding questions. For example: "I just saw a stunning species of thrush. It had two wing bars, a grey breast, a darker back, and a shrill call. What's its name?" The only accurate response I could give was, "Yes, you definitely saw a bird."

When I'm not at the visitor center I have "project time" to work on my program. I've enjoyed this process this far, as I am allowed a lot of leeway in choosing a topic. My topic is NPS history and the challenge to balance preservation and use in the parks. Designing the program has been a nice opportunity to do some writing and research. I'm excited about the program, but I don't think it will be the most enthralling for the visitors unless they share my interest in it.

Settling In

2007-05-30T19:17:00.000-07:00

Memorial Day weekend treated me well. I had four days off of work, and I'm now getting paid. I drove to the southern Black Hills to attend a wedding. The whole fam showed up and we had a good time hanging out. The younger generation of the family got in some good climbing on Sunday and some good partying on Saturday night. The wedding was Renaissance style, which was really entertaining since the wedding party all wore Renaissance era costumes. The reception though was certainly 21st century. The roast pig was abundant and the wine and beer flowed freely. A fun time dancing was had by all. The most exciting experience of the night came on the walk home. My sister and I stayed at the reception later than the rest of the Ohlens so we had to walk back to her cabin a half mile away. It was about midnight, and quite dark by the time we stumbled down the road. We had only walked about two hundred yards when a big black shape in front of us that had not attracted our attention up to that point quickly sprang around to face us. The big black shape was a large bull buffalo so close to us that we could see the moonlight gleaming in its beady little eye which was set in its extremely non-beady head. In a stroke a pure brotherly genius I said "Oh, we better cross to the other side of the street." Apparently I assumed that the buffalo would be unwilling to risk crossing a double yellow line in order to gore us. Fortunately for us, a friend pulled up in a car just as we were executing my foolproof plan. We piled in the back seat and were whisked off to the cabin.

Life at Devils Tower has proven to be interesting, if not as exciting. The locals are particularly colorful. I met the former mayor at the bar. He was so drunk that you could re-introduce yourself to him several times, receiving a shot each time in return for your good natured friendliness. All establishments have at least three or four animal heads mounted on the wall. In fact, one restaurant I ate at was a combo hunting lodge-cafe-gun shop. It's a great experience eating country fried steak with twenty five dead animals staring at you.

Still catching up

2007-05-21T15:58:00.000-07:00

As per Jeff and E's observation, I will elaborate on a bit of the Vegas trip. It's been such a whirlwind, I've had a hard time remembering what all I did in the last couple months. Basically Vegas amounted to an orgy of debauchery and spending money (I hesitate to use the term "orgy" since an actual orgy didn't happen. But if it ever were to, it seems like Vegas would be a likely place for it to occur). The organizer and several of the attendants of the bachelor party are established businessmen, and have the salaries that go along with such positions. Fortunately another friend of mine attended who is in similar financial status as I am. So, he and I shared a room in the Frontier (home of bikini mechanical bull riding and female mud wrestling - neither of which I saw). The Frontier is not known for its world-class amenities. Nevertheless it was across the street from the Wynn, which is world-class, and the base for debauchery. The base of operations at the Wynn was a suite with one wall comprised totally of windows overlooking the city. The stay was short enough that I was able to pretend that I had lots of money and thus foot the bill for lots of things I probably won't have an excuse to do again in a long time. Some of the highlights were

1. Fantastic and expensive meals at an Asian restaurant called Tao and a steak house called Nine
2. Bypassing a huge line to get into Ghost Bar on the top of the Palms because we were "VIP's" and hence ushered in by men wearing dark glasses, black suits, and ear pieces.
3. Private table at said bar, with a view over the strip.
4. Simply ordering bottles of liquor and having unlimited mixers brought to the table rather than going drink by drink...yum.
5. Limo rides to the clubs
6. Walking through what we later found out to be Vegas's worst homeless/crime ridden neighborhood at 5:oo am passing passed out naked hookers and tent cities before we found a cab (actually that was a low point, but we were all too drunk to realize it at the time).
7. Laying by the pool recovering.

I didn't gamble because I found many other more entertaining ways to blow my money in Vegas. The strip was amazing, in a gaudy sort of way. It was one of three things that made my jaw drop on the whole trip, the other two being the redwoods and the Narrows in Zion. All in all, I had a great time, but 48 hours was plenty. I couldn't help but feel a little guilty contributing to the extreme unsustainability and over consumption of that oasis in the desert. But it was a great time.

On a more mundane note, I'm now getting paid to sit in training. Yeah.

Devils Tower

2007-05-15T19:24:00.000-07:00

I finally made it to Devils Tower. I arrived on Sunday afternoon, after accumulating 4,900 miles over the previous month on the road. It's nice to not be living out of a suitcase, but I certainly wasn't sick of traveling yet. The trip ended on a good note at Brian's graduation from the U of Idaho. The whole trip was great, largely thanks to all of you who I was able to hang out with. I saw some great new country, especially that of Zion National Park. If you ever have a chance to hike the Narrows, I would highly recommend it. Some pictures of the desert portion of the trip are at my buddy Matt's flickr site. I will try to get some pics up soon too, but my computer is down for the count after bumping around in the back seat of my truck for the last month.

Devils Tower has been good so far. I'm learning how the NPS defines "interpretation" and what they expect from interpretive programs. Soon I will get to design my own programs on a topic of my choosing - provided that it fits with the park's broad interpretive goals. Unfortunately, though, my background check is stuck in a log-jam of paperwork in some government office. So, I have to volunteer until the check comes through. I'm hoping it will come through tomorrow.

Living in the park promises to be peaceful. No TV, but lots of deer, rabbits, and porcupines roaming around. I even saw a family of 6 red foxes today. All the little foxes were laying out in the sun by their den.

I'm off to my den now, featuring a bunk bed, a tiny bathroom, asbestos sealed under the floor, and lead paint a few layers under the existing paint. Yum.

City Observations

2007-04-18T14:10:00.000-07:00

I made it to Seattle last night in good shape and in good time. The drive was good, lots of new scenery and some freshly picked asparagus, yum. I've done a few Seattle-ish things so far. Standing in the rain, getting stuck in traffic, and hanging out in a coffee shop in the University District are a few of them. I was really amused while crawling through a traffic jam on the interstate yesterday to observe two different drivers reading while they were driving. They weren't going fast, probably 15-20 mph, but I had a good laugh nonetheless. One was reading a fully unfolded newspaper and the other was reading a bunch of papers all on a clipboard. I figured that if you drink enough good Seattle coffee that your multitasking capabilities go through the roof. My multitasking capabilities have not yet seen such an increase. I did find out though, that the goofy hats NPS employees have to wear cost $54, and that's without the required embossed hat band. Nifty. Another unique purchase of late was a 64 oz hip flask (if it can still be called a hip flask) to present to the soon-to-be-married bachelor whose party I will be attending in Vegas. Luckily, I'm not responsible for filling it.

I'm leaving in a green truck (to the tune of "Leaving on a jet plane")

2007-04-16T15:02:00.000-07:00

The time has finally come, my ETD is less than 24 hours. At this time tomorrow I should be cruising through the home territory of E, otherwise known as Yakima in wonderful eastern Washington. I'm starting to get excited as I can feel the open road calling. I should really get back to packing. So with that, it's farewell to Bend. I'm looking forward to seeing many of your smiling faces soon.

Internet Cops

2007-04-12T16:34:00.000-07:00

The internet cops at Clearwire found out that my household was stealing the internet. One of my roommates formerly worked for Clearwire and was able to create a dummy account and procure the wireless modem. But now we have been propelled back into the twentieth century. At least I'm moving out in a few days. The lack of internet at home, and a way too big cup of coffee has gotten me out of the house and motivated me to get a lot of stuff done. Every once in awhile I have a day when I accomplish lots of things on my to do list. Unfortunately, on a typical day I manage to work around my to do list and go to bed wondering how I managed to get next to nothing done.

Brace yourself for my accomplishments today...
1. Snowboarding in the morning
2. Haircut
3. Get fingerprints taken
4. Send heinous background forms back to Devil's Tower
5. Send in goggles for warranty
6. Purchase temporary health insurance
7. Send emails
8. Update blog

Things yet to be done
1. Buy book about Devil's Tower (I should probably know a thing or two about it before I get there)
2. More packing.

Plus, today I obtained a unique perspective on my life that comes too infrequently. Every once in a while I find myself able to focus on my life and its path (past present and future) on the scale of years. I cease to be concerned with the trivial tasks and worries that come about on a daily, weekly or monthly basis and instead can see the decisions and patterns in my life that are propelling me in a certain way. The broad picture I saw pleased me. Lets hope it stays that way.

Final Countdown

2007-04-10T18:00:00.000-07:00

My final week in Bend has started. Much to my delight, Old Man Winter decided to show up for one last storm on the mountain. The snow was good in the morning, and there was enough of it to formally call it a powder day. The rest of my day was very boring. Thanks to the Patriot Act and the Department of Homeland Security, I had to spend hours upon hours this afternoon filling out forms with my background information so that I can be cleared to work for the NPS. The worst part is that I'm not done yet. I had to provide names of friends, co-workers and people who knew me at each place that I have resided in the last five years. Not one fragment of time can be unaccounted for. Those of you who are reading this must have some interest in my life, and thus qualify as a friend. So, you made it onto my background form and you may be getting a call from some shady federal spy agent checking up on my background information. What a pain in the ass. I wish I could have remembered the names of all those old ladies that I've helped across the street.

?

2007-04-07T18:24:00.000-07:00

Apparently complaining, cussing, and being angry in general helps resolve situations in a positive way. The NPS must have finally heard through the grapevine that I was deriding their hiring practices left and right to anyone who would listen. They were mortified enough to give me a job at Devil's Tower National Monument. Or maybe it was the fact that my Devil's Tower application was one of the last I submitted and I was thus so sick of being denied that I slicked back my hair, put on a bad suit and let my inner used car salesmen come out and sell myself in no uncertain terms. So, as of May 14 all are invited to come to beautiful northeastern Wyoming and laugh at me in a funny uniform (see computer generated pic of my in 25 years) and listen to me drawl on about "America's first National Monument."
This news was the highpoint of my week. I was really excited to get the offer, especially since getting denied over and over again for a job that I knew I could do well was beginning to feel like getting repeatedly kicked in my boy parts.

Other reasons why this week has been a good one...

1. I sold a bike on ebay for fifty dollars more than I paid for it two years ago
2. Bluegrass
3. Only one week of work left
4. Big tax refund and b-day check from the parents
5. Bowling and Mexican tonight

Low points of the week...

1. I have something in my eye that is really annoying
2. I can't get it out

Coming soon to a city near you...probably

2007-04-02T20:44:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm getting the itch to be on the road. I put my two weeks notice in at both of my jobs. I've consulted my atlas, my bank account, and my destinations. Everything seems in order. I'll be leaving on the 17th of April and heading to Seattle. From there The direction will be south. I always feel like I'm going down hill when I'm heading south. I'll be hitting Eugene, Fortuna, Santa Cruz, Vegas, and various places in the desert southwest before going north to Moscow, ID. From there, it looks like good old SD will be the destination for the summer unless something miraculous happens. A few thousand miles, lots of time in the car, and the promise of some camping...sounds like a typical Ohlen trip.

Is it that time already

2007-03-23T19:29:00.000-07:00

Holy Shit! I got an email for my 10 year highschool reunion this summer. Yikes. I almost gagged from the prospect of getting old and the prospect of what a reunion might entail. The email started..."Can you believe you are STILL cool after all these years? So much for cool, who can judge that anymore...although I'm sure there are a few peeps (no names) who still think they can." Wow, what a way to make me want to go hang out with them. I suppose it could be fun, they do provide a drunk bus and babysitters. I wouldn't mind gloating that I have no kids and have actually made it out of the state. Many of my class did make it out of the state, but while visiting the bars in RC it is terribly obvious that some of the people from highschool have spent the last ten years in the same city going to the same bars. Moving sucks, but thank goodness I'm still willing to do it.

I'm Bitter

2007-03-22T15:25:00.000-07:00

Actually annoyed is an understatement. Right now I would like to rent a plane and write "Fuck You NPS" in the sky. I am incredibly sick and tired of the federal government's bass-ackward way of hiring people. If the hiring system facilitated the most qualified candidates getting jobs I would be okay with it. But I'm reasonably sure that I am more qualified (from an educational standpoint) than many of the people working at the NPS. But I've heard time and time again that I don't rank in the "highly qualified" category because I have no experience being an Interpretive Ranger specifically. My question is then: "how the fuck do you get a job in the first place? At some point a person with no experience has to be hired." Granted, I was aware of this method of hiring when I decided to put my applications in but I didn't think it would be that big of a deal. I do have several parks yet to hear from that I should have fairly good chances with, but my recent experience has not made me very confident. On top of that, it is nearly impossible to talk to anyone who does the hiring. In some instances candidates are simply not allowed to talk to the hiring official. In other cases it is just impossible to catch the person in their offices. Of course they don't return calls. Well I guess that's enough bitching for now....wait....shit, damn, donkey balls....okay now I feel better.

It only took 20 years

2007-03-21T22:01:00.000-07:00

I used to watch Star Trek the Next Generation a lot. The android character, Data, at one point acquires emotions, including a sense of humor. He gets this weird look on his face, and starts laughing hysterically for no apparent reason. When asked why he was laughing, he says that he just got a joke that was told to him several years before. Though I am not an android (some might simply call me a "machine" ha ha ha), I recently just understood a one liner that my dad would use when I was just a kid - probably about 20 years ago. Whenever someone, usually me, did something stupid, my dad would say "Smooth move, exlax." From childhood until three weeks ago, I just assumed that exlax was just a funny, slightly derogatory name to call someone. I never thought it had any connection to the phrase "smooth move" even though I knew what exlax was meant to do. So, I was simply minding my own business cleaning my room a few weeks back and the phrase "smooth move, exlax" popped into my head. I immediately made the connection between the two parts of the one liner. I burst into laughter. It was sheer delight to make that connection, just 20 years too late.

Recap

2007-03-19T21:21:00.000-07:00

Mine and Brian's interpretation of a Cabella's ad.

The last week and half has been a whirlwind. On Wednesday I drove to Moscow, ID to visit the bro. We spent a few days eating good food, snowboarding, putting my truck through the paces in the snow, and packing for the big backcountry trip. The trip went great. The snow conditions weren't ideal, sticky one day, ice the next, but the scenery and company more than made up for it. Even with the snow conditions I had the most exhilirating run of my life. The group boot packed up to a ridge above a big bowl that started with a couple big couliers. The whole scene was above tree-line. The wind was blowing at the top of the ridge and no one was sure if the snow was going to be nice and soft or a sheet of ice. If it was icy there was serious potential to slide hundreds of feet down the slope if you wrecked. I have ridden steeper slopes before, but being in the backcountry, hours from any road put the consequences of any mistake at the forefront of my mind. With some giant butterflies in my stomach I dropped in to the run and then instinct took over. I sailed down the slope, making some huge turns in about two inches of new snow that provided just enough edge grab and softness to provide a smooth ride. This run was a dream come true. I've always wanted to make huge sweeping turns down a slope with no trees or rocks or other skiers to obstruct me. I was giddy when I got to the bottom. The group did one more run down this slope and these two runs made the whole trip worth it. Other fun moments included...
I. Themed drink nights
A. Mexican night - Margarits made with snow, Crystal Light lemonade mix, and tequila
B. Island night - (choose any exotic sounding island where drinks with little umbrellas would be served) - Mango rum in orange Tang.
C. Eastern European - Vodka with a choice of Crystal Light or Tang.
II. Games of 31 in the late 1800s mining cabin
III. Dogs chasing skiers down the slope
IV. A couple bottles of Terminal Gravity in Joseph, OR after getting off the mountain
V. Incredible scenery
VI. Isn't this outline format fun?

E's recent blog post about sharing pictures, including those of feet inspired the posting of this picture of my spindly, ghostly white feet.

Vacation

2007-03-08T09:09:00.000-08:00

The stress of a four day work week finally caught up with me, so I'm taking a vacation. I drove yesterday from Bend to Moscow, ID to visit Brian. I am spending a few days here before we both go to the Wallowa mountains in northeast OR to do some backcountry snowboarding. I'm really excited to get out in the mountains, but the weather has gotten really warm so I'm worried about the snow conditions. Ideally, the temperature would stay about 20 in order to keep the snow light and dry. Plus at that temperature you don't get wet from melting snow.

I've been attacking a cold that I got on Monday in hopes of kicking it before Sunday when we hike into the yurt. So far, it's going well, thanks in part to the supposed wonder drug Zicam. It has lived up to its claim to shorten and lessen the effects of the common cold though it leaves you a little spacey. With that, I'm off to drink some more orange juice.

Getting Stoked

2007-02-27T21:05:00.000-08:00

Tonight I went to a screening of the most recent Warn Miller ski film Off the Grid. As usual, the film showed some incredible ski and snowboard footage. Warn Miller gets the best shots and has the cheesiest lines. For example, while covering a Japanese professional snowball fight, the film dubbed English over the Japanese referee's voice. The voice in English said "Are your balls frozen? OK...go." Or "check the diameter of that guy's balls." Ha ha ha. There was also the requisite wrecks, jumps, and wacky people in neon one piece ski suits (or "romper suits" as they are apparently called in the UK, seriously, see this site). As a prelude to watching the ski film I had a great day on the mountain. There has been a few feet of snow in the last week. Monday was the day to be at the mountain, but alas I was at work. But there were still great tracks to be made today, and most importantly I found the ultimate music to listen to while snowboarding. The group Tool presents melodious tunes in a hard rock fashion. It's a great combo. You get pumped up but in a smooth, flowing way that perfectly lends itself to riding powder.

Enjoy the links in my blog, I only find the motivation to put them in every third blog or so.

Movie Night

2007-02-26T20:29:00.000-08:00

Since the network that carries the Oscars doesn't come in on any of the televisions available for my viewing The Big Lebowski was used as a worthy substitute. In fact, The Big Lebowski was probably more entertaining than the awards show. The main character, Jeff Lebowski, or more commonly known as The Dude, is an inspiring character. He is totally at ease with himself, confident in his lifestyle, and able to occupy large amounts of free time walking around in jellies and a robe. I wish that I could occupy my time as easily as lazily as The Dude. I feel like I am wasting time if I am not doing something productive, going somewhere, or out of the house in general. For example, I can't listen to music as an end in itself. I have to be doing something else at the same time. So, to all who long to waste a little time on something totally unproductive, mix yourself a Caucasian and turn up the tunes.

Random Happenings of Late

2007-02-22T11:00:00.000-08:00

Winter has finally returned to Central Oregon. Snow is even falling in town today. Unfortunately, some poor scheduling on my part has me stranded at home while my truck has its weary rear shocks replaced today. But I did get two great days on the mountain this week. I hadn't ridden in powder for over a month so I felt like a rusty gate at first, but I eventually got my form back.

On a sad note, my ever-comfortable and dear to my heart, inflatable mattress has sprung a slow leak. The leak developed while I enjoyed myself in Eugene. I naively hoped that it simply needed more air. The condition of the bed has deteriorated to the point that I have to pump it up every couple of nights. I'm hoping that there isn't a huge flood during a night which the pressure is low. This could seriously hinder my escape to higher ground while snug in my bed.

Some people put on two different color socks in the morning. I can't recall doing this in years. Apparently I was saving up for a bigger faux-pas. I put on two different colored shoes. Granted they are the same model of shoe, just different colors. I didn't notice my mistake until I returned home from running errands all morning.
Also a big shout out to Trust in Steel for joining the world of blogs. The web needs a good enforcer.

Yelling

2007-02-18T17:50:00.000-08:00

I've been enjoying the act of yelling lately. Usually I yell when I am alone, I'm not a big public yeller. That may change though. I yell a lot in the car, mostly out of enthusiasm, sometimes out of frustration at other drivers. I am particularly enthusiastic these days about an upcoming backcountry snowboard trip in the Wallowas with my bro, cracking PBR's after work, and as of today, fish tacos. I have never had a fish taco before. The employees of Skjersaa's put in a big order at a local burrito joint. My order was screwed up and I got fish tacos instead. Thank goodness for that, a whole new world has opened up for me.

Back to yelling though. As per a recent conversation with my sister, I was reminded of an awkward yelling faze I went through when I was about her age, 19. As she is experiencing now, I experienced the inability to determine my natural yelling pitch. I experimented with high yells (too girly) and low yells (too fake/angry). I couldn't find a middle ground that expressed enthusiasm and felt natural. Fortunately I am past that. I feel confident enough now to give a high pitched "wooohoooo" at a concert or a natural tenor "yeah" when fantasizing about shredding some deep pow in the mountains. I think there will be growth in my utilization of yelling in the near future.

In other developments I haven't eaten breakfast cereal in three months. This is huge.

My Eugene Fix

2007-02-12T19:33:00.000-08:00

I'm back at home in Bend safe and sound after a great weekend in Eugene. I remembered how much I like the former town of Prefontaine (who I thought was a band when I first moved there). The moisture, the greenery, the eclectic mix of people, the university, and the overall character of of the town are all a fantastic contrast to Bend. Bend has its good qualities and I'm having a good winter, but its no Eugene. Of course the high point of the trip was spending time with good friends. Much good food was consumed, a lot of alcohol was indulged in, and at least one cup of super strong coffee courtesy of Elizabeth rocked my world.

Here's a shout out to my homies in Eugene for providing good times and places to stay.

In the Valley

2007-02-09T12:33:00.000-08:00

I made the short, but all to infrequent drive over the mountains last night to arrive in the Eden that is Eugene. It really feels like a garden here. Everything is green, moist, and alive. In Bend it is dry and dead this time of year. It feels good to be back in the valley, strolling around campus, sipping coffee, and making fun of the undergrads who can't get it together enough to put on anything else but sweatpants before their morning classes.

I was greeted last night by the members of the history posse who remain in Eugene and Fernando who made the drive up from N. CA. It was a fantastic way to be welcomed back to Eugene and could only have been made better by the presence of the departed members of the history posse. We actually were a posse, Old West Style. We were deputized (GTFs) by the sheriff (Profs), chased villains (un-interested undergrads), and doled out punishment when we could ("it's is not the same is its...no A for you). Furthermore, like the torch and pitch fork wielding members of any Old West posse, we weren't doing it for the money as the Sheriff would, we were doing it because we thought it was the right thing to do.

Campus was beautiful as usual, Rebecca gave me some good natured ribbing, and those people who were always at the library reading newspapers for the last two years are still there. It seems life at the U of O continues much as it did when I was there. Even now as I type this I sit in my old office, though at Kungfuramone's former desk. Jeff now occupies the office and has lent it to me as he is off translating the shit out of a Greek test for fifty minutes. I think he'll need a beer afterwards. I'll be happy to supply it.

In short, you can't beat hanging with good people even if there were no pitchforks or torches to be found.

Central Oregon

2007-02-06T18:40:00.000-08:00

Ever since I moved to Central Oregon (the term Central Oregon is inescapable here) I have noticed the preponderance of jacked up pick-up trucks. It is really amazing how many people have bought trucks and then spent thousands of dollars on aftermarket tires, wheels, shocks, and detail packages. It actually pisses me off because gas is really expensive in Bend and tons of people are making their gas guzzling trucks even less fuel efficient. If the money they spent on the extra gas they have to buy was combined with what they spent on raising the trucks in the first place and instead spent on something more community/environmentally friendly the results could be quite staggering. Very few of these trucks goes offroad or actually makes use of the increased clearance. It is really just a social statement. I've never seen so many people trying to identify themselves with a particular region in such a way. After just a few years here, a typically normal person seems to become infected with the need to jack their truck up. I hope I'm immune.

It's not worthy

2007-02-03T17:24:00.000-08:00

The chorizo turned out well, considering I was adding it to a boxed jambalaya mix. It added a great kick and zest. With that success, I was on the prowl for more meat products. When I do cook, it is not often with meat because it is a pain in the ass to prepare, especially for one. But tonight I am biting the bullet and making chili. This chili will be nowhere near the quality of E's sausage etc...chili mind you (possibly the best food in the world). This chili is straight out of Betty Cracker's cook book. Betty Cracker is a great resource, especially for hearkening back to my casserole eating, potluck attending, Great Plains taste buds. Just don't expect an adventure for your palette from old Betty.

Once the chili eating is done, I am going to attend the Bend Winterfest. I made an appearance there last night. I was totally underwhelmed. There was a "fire dancer" that just ended up being an old hippie playing with flip sticks that were on fire at each end. And he dropped them. The ice carving was OK but the snowboard and ski jib-fest was lame. The ramp to the rail was not high enough, so must people wrecked, the rail was too steep, and snow had to be trucked in from the mountain. On top of that drinks were expensive. The Winterfest promises to be better tonight, if for no other reason than the festivities are slated to end and or begin at a local Martini bar.

If anyone has any snow (ahem, Denver) feel free to send some of it this way.

Chorizo

2007-01-29T19:24:00.000-08:00

Tonight is my first foray into cooking with Chorizo. It smells great right now, but with a cracker like me cooking it who knows how it will come out. Fern gave me some good tips, including the validation of my opinion that the chorizo initially looked like something the dog left in the front yard. No matter though, if it tastes half as good as it smells I'll be happy. Bon appetite!

My socks have been blown off

2007-01-25T10:28:00.000-08:00

I'm easily entertained, not very critical, and usually generous with praise. I usually have something good to say about most live music that I go to see. So it comes as no surprise that I really liked last night's show by the Avett Brothers. But this was different, I really really really enjoyed it. The show blew away everything else I have recently seen despite my usual protestations of excellence after each show. The Avett Brothers are based in bluegrass (a banjo, guitar, bass viol, bass drum, and cymbal) but their music ranges wide. There are tastes of punk, ragtime, and folk, but with a bluegrass foundation. Regardless of the music, the energy that the trio brought to the stage was incredible. They weren't the best singers I've ever heard, but the songwriting made up for that and more. I knew it was a good show when halfway through I realized I hadn't even thought about going to get a beer. Crazy.

I had a twenty dollar ticket for the Keller Williams show that overlapped the Avett Brothers' show. I couldn't bring myself to leave the Abott Brothers early, so I only caught the second set of Keller's. He was good too, a better musician, but the energy and passion wasn't there, so I had that long awaited brew.

Skiing

2007-01-24T17:05:00.000-08:00

Today I skied for the first time in a decade. Normally I cuss under my breath as I try to fly past skiers who are taking up the whole run. Today I was one of those skiers and I was certainly taking up the whole run. I had my first troubles before I even got on the lift. I managed to get tangled up in an entry gate to the lift area. Once I got the assistance of a lift operator I freed myself and got on the lift. I chose an easy run that I can do in my sleep on my board. Once I was on the run I was cussing myself out for getting into what seemed like a certain death situation. I managed to get down the run simply due to my inner Norwegianness that simply requires the ability to ski. Nevertheless I humbly made my way to the really easy runs. I got my feet under me in five or six runs and went back to conquer the seemingly near vertical blue run that got the best of me earlier. I kicked its ass and went home feeling quite good about myself. I will soon be off to hear some good twangy bluegrass and hopefully dance the evening away.

I'm an expert at everything

2007-01-23T10:41:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately, modesty is not a character trait that gets you far with NPS applications. While filling out apps over the last few weeks I thought that I was selling myself quite well, while still maintaining a fair appraisal of my abilities. Apparently the extra dose of modesty I received from wherever such things are doled out got the better of me. Today I was told by the hiring official at Black Canyon National Park in CO that I should have ranked much higher than I ended up ranking. This likely resulted, the official said, from selling my abilities short. So from here on out, I'm not going to make the same mistake again. Can I tame a wild bear? Sure I've done it many times. How about delivering interpretive programs about the grandeur of Yosemite NP? Shit, my middle name is John Muir. Can I replace the propeller on boat motors (an actual question on one application)? Yes, I spent my youth exploring the South Pacific with Jacques Cousteau.

Going to the dump

2007-01-17T18:36:00.000-08:00

I finally managed to take down my Christmas tree today. It was a really easy task given the scant amount of decorations on it. Nevertheless, there now seems to be a hole in the room where the tree once resided. The tree had one more gift to give though. After I hurled it off the balcony to the driveway below I pulled the truck up to tie it down to the roof and haul it away. I observed that my neighbors had a tree sitting in their driveway too. I knocked on the door to ask if they wanted me to take it away. No one answered so I decided to take it away anyway. As I was putting both trees on top of the truck, another neighbor whom I have never met walked by with his white pit bull. He excitedly asked if I was taking the trees to the dump. When I answered in the affirmative, he offered to give me ten dollars to take his to the dump as well. I quickly agreed and struck up a conversation with him. He turned out to be an ex pot grower from Alaska. I was really surprised, since I took him to be the meth tweaker type at first. He was really interested in my roommate's snowmobile because it was similar to one that he "borrowed" while he lived in Alaska. As I finished taking with him, the first neighbor, whose Christmas tree I had put on top of the truck, approached with her and her roommates' three dogs. She introduced herself and the dogs while they fought over which one got to put their nose on my butt. I think I managed to mutter some coherent sentences while trying to ward off the dogs. Anyway, I was happy that my Christmas tree prompted the meeting of two interesting neighbors. I should make a habit of lingering in the driveway more often - stoop sitting you might call it.

Off the hook until 2012

2007-01-16T09:39:00.000-08:00

Being my day off, I rose late today, and began making the most important decision of the day-what should I have for breakfast. One requirement of all my breakfasts on days off is that they involve eggs. I love eggs, thus I love the idea of omelette's. The problem is that I don't like the actual omelet at all (at least the omelette's I make), only the idea of an omelet. It just sounds so good, like a calzone, but with a fluffy egg crust. About five years ago I figured out that I don't like the omelette's I make. I then stopped trying to convince myself to like them and simply stopped making them altogether. It has taken me five years to forget why I didn't like them and to re-convince myself that an omelet would taste good. So I made one this morning with red bell peppers, mesquite turkey, onions, cheese, Tobasco, and salsa. I love all of these things independently, but together the reaction was quite the opposite. The way I figure it I have now relieved myself of the need to make another omelet for five years. Hopefully 2012 will yield better results, I want to like omelette's oh so badly.

Heck Yes!

2007-01-15T22:38:00.000-08:00

I can confidently say that Saturday was one of the best, if not the best, of my days in Central Oregon. I had three "firsts" on Saturday.

1. I called in sick to work without actually being sick
2. I drove a snowmobile (thousands of rednecks can't be wrong...can they)
3. I made some real backcountry turns on my snowboard.

I would normally be elated to experience just one of these three "firsts" on any single day, but to have three of them is a real treat. My roommate, Matt, recently bought a snowmobile. He made it known to me that he was going snowmobiling on Saturday. I figured that "I came to Bend to do one thing, snowboard," so to be true to my goals I had to skip work. I felt terribly guilty, but I got over it as soon as I strapped on my snowshoes.

On the drive to the trailhead, the thermometer in the truck registered -22. But that was no reason not to have a good time. Riding bitch on a snowmobile is also not a reason to have a bad time (though close). Overall, the experience of being out in cold temps all day, blazing your own trails, and gazining stupidly at a crater on the top of a volcanic butte (duh, its the Northewest after all) is a recipe for a great day. Fresh tracks were made, snowmobiles were dug out, disasters were averted, and good times were had all around.

I hope to continue a least two of my "firsts."

Do one thing and do it well

2007-01-11T19:52:00.001-08:00

I've been enjoying living with a nice dog named Charlie for the last couple months. She belongs to my roommate. She's part chocolate lab and part Chesapeake Bay retreiver. It's great having a pooch around to play with and pet. She has warmed up to me quite well. But lately my role in her life has been pingeonholed. I used to be a multi-purpose petter, normally of the ear and neck area. I was even good for a tasty morsel from time to time. Now, though, she approaches me and when I reach out my hand to pat her on the head she immeaditely turns and faces her butt at me. She loves the butt scratches more than anything else and apparently thinks I should provide her with them to the exclusion of all else. I guess that I am glad that she likes my scratches the best, but it is kind of like being a garbage man. Everyone agrees that the job has to be done, but no one really wants to do it. Here's to all the garbage men, ditch diggers, etc...

Domesticity

2007-01-09T19:13:00.000-08:00

Perhaps my age is starting to show. Tonight I eagerly busted out my "Flavor Scenter Steamer Plus" vegetable steamer/rice cooker. As I write, the scent of steaming veggies is wafting my way. The steamer has a nice feature that allows the user to add spices to the steam, thus flavoring the vegetables as they cook. I haven't been this excited since I learned how to put my pants on one leg at a time while standing (this morning). Just for the record I also received collapsible ski poles for Christmas as well.

Also, for all you Eugenians/Euginites/residents of Eugene/or whatever you are called, be notified that Keller Williams is playing at the McDonald Theatre on the 25 of Jan. He's in Bend the 24. It promises to be a good show, he's a great musician.

Foodgasmic

2007-01-08T21:24:00.000-08:00

Last night was the Skjersaa's employee holiday party. The owner of the shop went all out and rented on an entire restaurant, called the Blue Fish Bistro. The Blue Fish is known to have some of the best food in Bend. Since I am back in one of my non-cooking ruts (far too many of my meals have been coming from boxes), some real food was awsome. I had the filet mignon. It was as tender as any steak I have ever had. The appetizers were great as well, but not to be topped by dessert. Of course the wine flowed freely and the deceptively large 16-oz wine glasses had everyone quickly on their way to Drunksville. Of course, being the new employee, I was the lucky one to get to work early this morning. No matter though, I've had the bad habit lately of going out on the nights before I work the next morning and not going out on my weekends. With that, since it is my Friday night, I'm off to bed to catch up on some sleep.

Finally

2007-01-02T10:20:00.000-08:00

The craziness of the holidays seems finally to be subsiding. At the snowboard shop, sales were at all time highs. At the mountain, the reams of tourists who don't maintain their equipment, and then subsequently demand that shop guys like me fix it immediately, made for many busy days in a row. I was keeping track of how far people were willing to travel to ski Mt. Bachelor, going to untold lengths and difficulties to plan their trips, without ever thinking to see if their gear was functioning before they left. The largest distance traveled was from France. Apparently certain French skiers can be just as dumb as the American gapers.

Now to the point. I have three, yes three, days off in a row. I slept in, ate oatmeal with cranberries in it, and watched the Today show. Exciting stuff.

Good old-fashioned knee slappin'

2006-12-26T21:25:00.001-08:00

The new year has been rung in. I'm tired and a wee bit dehydrated, but ready to Live the Dream as was declared by myself and other fellow revellers last night. The stroke of twelve found me at the McMenamin's in Bend enjoying the twangy bluegrass tunes of Moon Mountain Ramblers. I rode my bike down to the show and met my roommates and some other people there at about ten o'clock. Of course I couldn't pass up the opportunity to get some good dancing in. After all, bluegrass is my favorite music to dance to (followed very closely by eighties hits). I came to the realization that the enthusiasm with which one (at least myself) is dancing to bluegrass can be measured by the angle formed by your upper leg, hip joint, and upper body as the legs move up and down with the beat. When my hip joint is close to a ninety degree angle, making my upper leg almost parallel to the floor, as if I was stepping up on a ledge, correlates to my maximum level of stoke. I peaked at just the right time, about 1:00. I made it outside in time to see a guy get punched in the face. I also helped my roommate argue with a short fat lady about driving SUV's. She thought we were pathetic to ride our bikes to the show. She was proudly waiting for her huge SUV, which she said would never run out of gas because there are 82 years of oil left for her to burn in her monstrosity. She clearly has never had the joy of drunken bike riding. Her loss.

Let the Betting Begin

2006-12-26T21:25:00.000-08:00

I have taken on the task of pet-sitting a tortoise and a hare. Actually I don't know if a lop-eared rabbit qualifies as a hare - I don't know what characterizes a hare. Perhaps a rabbit simply needs to be living in the English countryside happily raiding nearby radish patches etc...

In the interest of proving Aesop right (I like to think that slow and steady can win) I am hoping to organize a race between the two beasts. The course is not set, but will unfortunately not involve quaint country lanes, but rather carpeted hallways and a couch.

For those of you wanting to place a wager, the rabbit is reminds me very much of a certain rabbit named Pesto and the tortoise is about six or seven inches long by five or so wide and four tall. Good luck to all.

You promised not to laugh

2006-12-22T21:34:00.000-08:00

So, here are a couple pictures of my anorexic Christmas Tree. It also suffers from a serious lack of ornaments. Building a collection of Christmas ornaments and decorations, while certainly a worthwhile endeavour, does not fit very well with my "accumulate as little as possible in order to stay mobile" goal. So, yes, that is a handmade paper chain ornament I learned how to make in Kindergarten. The pictures are crappy, but they're the best I can muster after a long day of work.

I have to give my brother and sister a shout out for making me laugh harder than I have lauged in a long time. They emailed me a recording of their rendition of Coldplay's song, Clocks. Sarah playing the piano was very good, while Brian's vocals were, uh, shall we say, an interesting interpretation of Coldplay's recording. I thought they sounded a lot like a cross between a drunk crow and a sick cow. Keep up the good work.

Flying

2006-12-21T22:02:00.000-08:00

I love to fly, and I love being in airports. I especially like the Denver airport, which is good, since just about every flight I take uses it as a connection. Luckily I made it out of Denver a few hours before the airport got walloped by a huge snowstorm. One of the main reasons I like flying is that stupid magazine SkyMall that hangs out in the back of the seat in front of you. I am endlessly entertained by the sheer stupidity of many of the products in it. The main offender is a company called Hammacher Schlemmer. They have the most ridiculous products, most of which claim to be the solution to a problem that never existed in the first place. My favorites...
1. attachment for vacuum cleaners to suck up bugs
2. a fire resistant poncho to be worn when you are jumping to safety through flames when your hotel is burning down (believe me, as a firefighter who has had to endure training sessions on fire shelters, this idea would not work well)
3. the wearable blanket
4. the grocery bag rack

There are many more where these came from.

I put my Christmas tree up tonight. I'll post pictures soon, only if you promise not to laugh.

The streak continues

2006-12-14T18:44:00.000-08:00

The hour was late, and the weather crappy, but I couldn't let the streak end. I went out and cut myself a Christmas tree today. I've had one every year of my life but the streak was in jeopardy as I just hadn't gotten in the Christmas mood yet. If it wasn't for the bad weather I probably wouldn't have cut one this year. A Cascade style storm has been pounding the mountains, with rain. The snow level is about half-way down Mt. Bachelor, making any snowboarding completely miserable. So instead I went and cut a tree. It isn't exactly the Rockefeller Square Christmas tree, it's rather anorexic looking when compared my trees of the past. But once I get my homemade decorations on it - popcorn strings and those paper chains everyone made in kindergarten - it should spruce right up. My apologies for the bad pun. The drive home with the tree on top of the truck was an eventful one. A spindly tree and fifty mile-per-hour winds combined for some serious tree movement and rubbernecking as I drove through town. Pictures will be coming soon.

Watch out NPS here I come

2006-12-13T17:39:00.000-08:00

Well, I got my application for an Interpretive Ranger in Yellowstone National Park submitted. After making many pro and con lists, flow charts of the various consequences of career-related decision, and lots of soul searching, I made true to my decision to pursue an NPS career. That word just scares me. On the flip side though, I had a great conversation with a colleague at Mt. Bachelor. We have had many of the same experiences while arriving at our various life decisions. It is nice to realize that I am not the only person that agonizes over such decisions. For better of for worse, I can confidently say that I am looking forward to working long hours for little pay, all for federal government. If I get this job in Yellowstone, preferably at Mammoth Hot Springs, it will be a dream come true. But what then? If I get this job will it all be downhill from there? Once, as a 12 year old boy, I caught this really big rainbow trout on a fly that I had tied while flyfishing on the Bighorn River. My Dad jokingly told a lot of friends that "it's all downhill from here." I didn't know what he meant at the time, but looking back he was right. I have not caught a fish that big since. Other fish I have caught have certainly been just as much or more fun, but not as big. Perhaps I should try and work at some crappy parks first and then shoot for the crown jewel. Or maybe it would be nice to accomplish a dream quickly, thus allowing me to rest on my laurels, content in the fact that I succeeded, and take in the next fifty or sixty years as they come.

On a less long-term note, I finally got a bill sent to my Bend address, allowing me to get a library card. The library had Kill Bill Volume 1, heck yes. I'm off to the couch.

The highs and the lows

2006-12-11T20:21:00.000-08:00

On Saturday night I had the good fortune to procure a couple tickets to a bluegrass band called Hot Buttered Rum. They are the purveyors of "High Altitude Bluegrass," and they travel around in a Biodiesel powered bus. The concert was an explosion of strings, as they sport a guitar, a bass, a mandolin, a fiddle, and a banjo. The vibe was really good at the concert, though there was not a enough room to cut a true rug, though I gave it my best shot. Before going to the show, my roommates and I had a BBQ and had some friends over. I can't say it measured up to the BBQ's at old 157 E. 27th Ave. with my little grill, but it did the job. I was a little out of practice though, and I paid the price for buying pre-made burgers because they were so thin one of them fell between the grittle, and another one should rightly have been called jerky. I had brats though, they are about impossible to ruin.

The bidding has continued for my sought after services. Skjersaa's has offered me a free pass now if I work there full time. They offered me this after I told them I wasn't going to work there full time. This is a new experience for me, I've never played hard-ball over a job. I don't think I want to work there full time though, too many young, pants below the ass punks, who think they are the shit come in to look around because they have nothing else better to do.

On a sad note, one of my two Grandma Evelyns passed away last night - on my Mom's side. It was no surprise to any of the family, as she had been gradually declining for a few weeks. She had a good 92 years though and had no discomfort in the end. So, I will be flying to Rapid next Sunday and returning on Tuesday.

Cheap Thrills

2006-12-07T16:39:00.000-08:00

As I write I am enjoying a "Cup of Noodles," a glass of water, and a can of PBR. Their prices, respectively are $.33, a fraction of a cent, and $.58. This is a perfect end to a day of cheap thrills. Rather than "shred the northwest gnar under the lifts" as one of my too large shirt wearin,' pants below the butt coworkers says, I earned my turns the cheap way. By hiking. Across the street from Mt. Bachelor is a mountain called Tumalo. It's a popular place to showshoe and snowmobile. My homie Wil and I snowshoed to the top (we decided snowmobiles were for wimps), enjoyed the awsome view, ate a cold burrito and snowboarded down. The whole way down you weave between trees and try to make a line toward the parking lot. As my first real backcountry snowboard experience, it was very surreal at first. On a lift-served mountain, you can basically just point downhill and be confident that you will end up at a lift eventually. In contrast, when snowboarding through a forest with only a few openings, your choice of path can have much greater consequences. Simply getting used to the fact that there are no runs, or the whole mountain is a run was great. The best part is that you don't have to pay for a lift ticket.

On another note, the bidding continues. Skjersaa's claims they can get me a whole new snowboard set up for free. Very enticing. There will be much mulling to do in the next couple days.

Let the bidding begin

2006-12-03T21:43:00.000-08:00

I start my new second job at Skjersaa's Ski and Snowboard shop tomorrow. Fortunately, the management did not require me to correctly pronounce the name of the shop before they offered me the job. I still don't know how to correctly pronounce it. I've taken an informal survey around town and received many different responses. So far, the front runner is "sheer-shas." I guess I will just avoid ever having to say the name when I am at work.

As I blogged on an earlier post, simply not being a complete idiot is grounds for commendation at Mt. Bachelor. So, me being a semi-intelligent person, I was told by my boss that he was trying to give me a raise that would match the pay-rate at Skjersaa's if I agreed to stay at the mountain full time. I doubt I will take him up on the offer even if he does secure the raise. But, now that I seem to have started a mini bidding war amongst two employers I figured I would open the bidding to the general public. I have many skills and services to offer. Among my areas of expertise are...

1. Reducing worldly belongings down to one vehicle load
2. Driving long distances
3. Oregon Dunes, and Mission 66 (I can just hear the money adding up for that one)
4. Drinking PBR

My work ethic mantra: "It's good enough for government work."

Let the bidding begin

Nutria Beware!

2006-12-01T22:01:00.000-08:00

A day or two ago I heard a very entertaining piece on NPR about nutria extermination in the deep south. Apparently, nutria have the habit of burrowing into the sides of canals (thus their presence in Amazon Creek in Eugene), which makes havoc on the canals. Being good Southerners, who are clad in cammoflouge and spit tobacco, the local Sheriff and his deputies patrol the cannals at night and shoot the nutria with high powered rifles from boats. These specially trained public servants are called "Nutria Commandos." The NPR piece incorporated many great Southern cultural quircks in their effor to explain the zeal with which the old, 350 pound sheriff pursued the rodents. Apparently the locals appreciate his efforts, he has been re-elected for 27 consecutive years and proclaims that his is just as "filled with piss and vinegar" at 70 some years old as he was at 20. Nutria beware, the reaper calls.

The four seasons

2006-11-30T21:20:00.000-08:00

Even though winter is officially about three weeks away, it is very wintry here in Bend of late. It is so great to have snow on a regular basis. The changing of the seasons brings with it so many other great changes. I've been particularly enjoying the seasonal change to dark beer. Being back in the land of good beer (in SD a "good" beer is often considered a domestic light beer with a shot or two of tomato juice mixed in, thus making it a "red beer"), provides so many different choices. I sampled a beer from Cascade Lakes Brewery called Santa's Little Helper, and one from McMenamin's called Kris Kringle. This is an great trend, combining two of my favorite things...Christmas and good beer. Plus, the word has gotten around work that I can tune a mean pair of skis, and I take payment in six packs. So with a few covert deliveries, and well-timed use of the shop's equipment, I will be able to keep the fridge well stocked. The first payment? A sixer of Jubelale. This year's recipes is better that last's, the yearly art work on the label is decent too. Bottom's up.

A Disturbing Trend?

2006-11-27T22:23:00.002-08:00

At Mt. Bachelor, the lift tickets are credit card sized pieces of thick weather-proof paper. Embedded in them is something that trips a sensor at the entry to the lift line. This sensor then activates a gate that you move through, thus removing the need for employees to physically check the validity of guests' passes. This system is supposed to save the resort money and streamline the life lines. Since Mt. Bachelor Inc. is cheap and unorganized, many employees do not have their employee passes yet (basically the only reason to work there). To alleviate this, the cashiers give employees such as myself senior, 70+, passes to use for the day. Theoretically, you can carry your pass in your left jacket pocket and still trip the sensor. Unfortunately for me, the pass issued to me today did not seem to trip the sensors at the entry gate as well as it should. So, having my pass in my left jacket pocket, I had to engage in some risque hip grinding with the sensors in order to get them to open the gate. If the sensor and I were on the dance floor I would either be scoring some major points or getting a slap in the face. Even though it was inconvenient, the hip rubbing while on a board made for some good entertainment. So this is the second time in the last few months that I have unintentionally gotten friendly with an inanimate object. At least I wasn't in a Smokey the Bear costume this time.

The snow was fantastic, knee deep and dry. I knew it was a good day when my goggle straps froze to my sideburns. There were many great runs and a few good crashes. I got applause and hoots and hollers from the lift for one.

I also got a job offer from the snowboard shop that kept yanking me around a couple weeks ago. So now instead of having the problem of being unemployed I have the problem of having one too many job opportunities. Better than too few, I guess.

To tip or not to tip

2006-11-26T20:42:00.000-08:00

I have deplored the recent growth of "tip jars" at various establishments. I have no problem tipping generously for good service. But I limited my definition of "service" to include only the traditional services one would receive at a sit down restaurant, a bar, or perhaps when getting a haircut. I figured that I had to be sitting and relaxing while someone served me in order to warrant a tip. In other words, why should I tip at the typical coffee joint, for instance, when I have to stand at the counter, find a seat, and then go back up and get my coffee when it is ready. The customer is doing most of the "serving." This being said, I still do tip occasionally at coffee joints etc... when there is good reason to (or maybe it is just that I allow myself to be guilted into it by the tip jar sitting prominently right in front of me).

The reason I bring this up, is that my boss at work has put a tip jar next to the cash register in the shop. The jar is actually a plastic Mt. Bachelor coffee cup on which he has written "Tips - so you don't fall down." I guess that people are supposed to read that and tip me so that I don't purposely mess up their skis or boards thus causing them to fall down. I have greatly appreciated the little extra money the tip jar provides. I can now justify eating out occasionally or spending that few extra dollars here and there. But am I really providing a service that I am not already getting paid for? Am I contributing to a trend I deplore? I probably am, and I should tell myself to "shut up and do your job without whining about tips" just like I always thought about employees at establishments sporting unwarranted tip jars. But for now, I am enjoying the extra cash (let's here it for greed), and in my own little world sticking it to the management of the mountain, who is responsible for my lowly compensation.
Maybe tips should be proportional to the creativity displayed on the tip jar itself.

Turkey Day

2006-11-23T20:52:00.000-08:00

The spread turned out quite nice. I've never appreciated how good real stuffing is. This year was the first that I attempted to stuff the turkey. It turned out great, stuffing rules.
The after dinner festivities included watching The Day After Tomorrow with Dennis Quiad. This is probably the worst movie I have seen in a long time. This is really saying something since I am very easily entertained, and not very critical when it comes to movies. The lesson of the movie...stop global warming or the entire northern hemisphere will be engulfed in hurricane-like Arctic storms that can cause "the temperature to drop ten degrees a second!" Wow, that would suck. Assuming a starting temperature of sixty degrees, absolute zero would be reached in 51.967 seconds. Shit, that's cold.

Drunken Cooking III

2006-11-22T12:15:00.000-08:00

I've heard of the joys of drunken blogging, and now I can enjoy them too. I am celebrating Thanksgiving today with my brother, Brian, and his friends Jasper and Sam. There has been lots of cooking, drinking, and tom foolery - especially with the resident labrador Charlie. Our first round of car bombs was finished by 9:10, the second by 9:45. Now, the turkey is in the oven, the music is playing, and plans are being made for squash, green bean casserole (we were inspired by Austin's casserole last year), pumpkin pie, mashed potatoes, and cranberries. We even stuffed the turkey for real this time. Yum. Happy Thanksgiving!
Me climbing yesterday at Smith Rock
This pic is from last year, but it is being repeated today, only in a new location.